For as long as I can remember, I loved and respected my dad and never once entertained the idea that he would leave. He was firm but loving and modeled for me what it meant to be a God-fearing man. Although Operation World has declared that approximately one third of the children in the U. If this trend continues, it is likely that even more children in the U. Consequences in the Society As has been demonstrated, the influence of dads in the home is paramount to its success and, if not corrected, has more far-reaching effects upon the culture as well.
A brief overview of a number of different studies demonstrates how the decline in the role of fathers has negatively affected our culture. According to this research, 4 out of 10 children are potentially growing up without a father figure. Fatherless boys are generally not being taught what it means to be a man, how to interact with girls as boys, how to treat young ladies as a gentleman, or what it means to be a father. Instead, they may be learning to a certain degree that a father is not necessary for the proper training up of a child, and that adapting to society without a dad is without noticeable consequences.
In , there were over 1. Imagine how the numbers would have decreased if there was an involved dad in the lives of those male prisoners. Educational Success The most significant factor for ensuring the success of a child is the involvement of parents, and in particular, educators recognize the unique contributions that dads make on students who do well in school This cycle snowballs to the point where previous students — who eventually become fathers — have a low education level, further contributing to low educational success for generations to come; this process spirals downward to a functionally illiterate population or at the very least to a more class-stratified society than what is currently the case for modern American society.
Violence and Sexual Abuse As demonstrated by Wilcox in a study, an intact, two-parent home is the safest place for a child to grow up Within homes where there is economic security and protection from the father, a child is less likely to be abused. Thus, the consequences to society when a dad is not present in the home are costly. More tax dollars are spent on prisons, drug addictions, child abuse prevention programs, and remedial educational training due to the absence of a father living with his children, compared to two-parent homes.
Our society is seeing the fruits of these historical choices, and unfortunately, the consequences of this decline are not limited to those outside of the church. Consequences in the Church The church has begun to see the breakdown of the family and the lack of influence an absent father can have on the family, society, and even the church In , ABC conducted a poll that showed that a larger percentage of women attended church than men.
Whether Catholic or Protestant, these percentages illustrated that churches were filled with a greater numbers of female congregants than male congregants. In a typical week, mothers are more likely than are fathers to attend church, pray, read the Bible, participate in a small group, attend Sunday school, and volunteer some of their time to help a non-profit organization. The only faith-related activity in which fathers are just as likely as mothers to engage is volunteering to help at a church Although the Bible discusses the importance of women serving in the local congregation and loving their husbands and children 65 , it much more frequently addresses the importance of men leading, teaching, preaching, and encouraging and being positive role models in both the home family and the spiritual family Unfortunately, the American trend of poor male role models has snuck into our churches.
In churches we have been a part of in various areas of the country, we have witnessed a shortage of men in Sunday school classrooms, coaches for evangelistic recreation leagues, and those who faithfully attend at least one church meeting per week. One of the key qualifications was for the elder to be a father who managed his house well Paul declares that if an elder was not able to manage his own house well, it would be unreasonable to assume that he would be able to manage the local assembly of believers.
Presumptively, fathers, not only single men, are included in this call to follow in the apostolic doctrine. The American church is suffering from delinquent dads who either do not attend, drop off their kids, send them with their wife, or worse, do not require their family to spend much time at all with believers in a corporate setting. These profligate men are implicitly and most of the time, tacitly teaching their sons and daughters that connecting to believers is not important, and if their children do not know Christ as their Savior, then they are also teaching their children that God is not a daily necessity for life as a believer.
In addition to these references, God initially established the role of Adam as the spiritual leader in the Garden of Eden. However, in contemporary American culture, just as Adam did in the beginning by shirking his role as leader of the home in the Garden 74 , fathers are shirking their responsibilities within the home, which has manifested in contemporary society through the above mentioned media outlets and subsequently makes its way into the church. The portrayal of dads in the media has progressively devolved from a father-knows-best role to the dunder-headed dad who needs constant supervision from his wife or even kids.
This trend changed significantly after the close of The Cosby Show , at which point dads have been portrayed more along the lines of Homer Simpson than Ward Cleaver. This article cites the numerous reports that found that the American family has deteriorated over the course of this same time period.
Divorce rates are higher, single parents are more prevalent, and generations are being raised without the positive influence of a father.
Why I’m finally shelving my father’s 1,000-volume library
These phenomena have left an indelible mark in our culture, and America is seeing a rise in sons who do not know how to act as men and in daughters who long for male attention. The state of the local church is not much different than the larger American culture, as it is filled with similar family situations. The result of this cultural influence in church settings is a general lack of male leadership in the church. As I David reflect upon my childhood, I am reminded that my dad modeled for me what it means to be a man of faith. Two times, my family moved from one coast to another coast with either a low salary or none at all.
My dad believed both times that these moves were the will of God for our family. The first time, I was nine years old and simply traveled with my family, but the second time, I was fifteen. My dad included me in the discussion. He taught me that obedience to God was more important than financial gain and that God would always meet my needs. Later, as a man in my thirties with my own family, I believed God wanted us to relocate overseas to Costa Rica and then Spain as missionaries. My dad questioned me, as any loving father should, but in the end, gave us his blessing.
Are you here at the opening of the day in the morning and the closing in the evening service? Are you faithful to worship God in the Word yourself personally? Does your son look at you and see a true worshiper? Because whatever patterns of worship you have established for yourself, you have established for your son and he will likely establish for his son. What kind of legacy are you leaving? And what about living in a healthy fear of God's holy right to punish sin? Do you have that healthy fear? Do you understand that God has the right to punish you?
Do you so live to avoid that? Notice chapter 3 of Proverbs verse 5, this is really a description of a worshiping heart. I want to teach my son how to trust the Lord with all his heart. The word trust in the Hebrew originally meant to lie helplessly face down. And there's a sense of humility there, but there's also a sense of submission there to the total sovereign control of God in which the worshiper says I not only am humbled in Your presence but I bow in Your presence submissively to anything that You would choose to do, that's how much I trust You.
Teach your son to trust that way. Teach him not to lean on his own understanding. The Hebrew word does not mean to incline, it means to support yourself. Teach him not to support himself by his own wisdom but to support himself by God's wisdom. In all your ways acknowledge Him. The word there means to be aware of, to know, to have fellowship with. In everything in life teach him to do it in union communion with the living God. Teach him how to trust God for everything.
How to lean on God for support totally and how to be aware of God's consistent presence in his life. And if he so lives with that kind of trust and that kind of leaning and that kind of acknowledging, God's going to direct his path. Teach him to fear his God. And I believe that when God is feared, so is sin Proverbs says fearing the Lord prolongs life. You want to give your son that kind of rich full life? Proverbs says fearing the Lord is more profitable than wealth, it brings about life.
It keeps one from evil. It results in riches and honor and it breeds humility. Proverbs says that those who fear God sleep satisfied and are untouched by evil. They have confidence, they will be praised and they have their prayers answered. Would you like that for your son?
Would you like to know that your son will have his life prolonged to its fullness? Would you like to know that he will be kept from evil, that he will be brought honor and riches? That he would be humble, untouched by evil? Satisfied, confident, praised and have his prayers answered? Then teach him to fear God. This is the most crucial lesson a father could ever teach a son. Lesson number two. Son, not only fear your God but guard your mind Chapter 3 verse 3, among many, introduces the heart here.
And the writer mentions kindness, chesed?
And then the word met? Take that, those two marvelous things, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity and all of that, along with reliable, dependable, accurate truth and bind them around your neck and write them on the tablet of your heart, chisel, as it would be in the stone of your mind. Heart has reference to mind, the seat of thought and emotion and will. In other words, teach your son to guard his mind.
You are responsible as a father for the mind of your child. Boy, what a tremendous responsibility today. When the assault on the human mind is at such a level as it is today through the media, the job of guarding the mind of your young person and teaching him how to guard it is indeed a formidable task. Chapter 4, would you notice verse 23? Out of it comes your conduct. It's not what goes into a man, Jesus said in Matthew, it's what comes out of a man that defiles him.
And so what goes in is not the issue. What starts in and comes out is. And so the heart must be right. The father then has the task of assuring the son's mind is programmed with truth with virtue, with faithfulness, with honesty, with integrity, with loyalty, with love, with all that those two words in chapter 3 can sum up. Father, you have a responsibility to teach your son to guard his mind. All the way through this passage and I wish we had time to just kind of wander through the ten chapters, you see this.
Back in verse 9 of chapter 1 he talks about the fact that good instruction is a graceful wreath to your head, and ornaments around your neck. In chapter 2 and verse 10 He wants wisdom to enter your heart and knowledge be pleasant to your soul so that discretion will guard you and understanding will watch over you to deliver you from the way of evil.
In chapter 3 verse 1, "Let your heart keep My commandments. Father, you are the guardian of your child's mind. You must keep the right stuff going in and the wrong stuff out, that is your duty before God to guard your son's mind, your children as well. What a tremendous responsibility we have.
That means we have to protect our children from what they are exposed to. That's the negative. The positive, we must make sure that they exposed to what we want to fill their mind, therein lies the benefit of a godly education, of Christian training, of exposure to the teaching of the Word of God. That is the duty of the father. Third great lesson, a father must teach his son All through this entire section these statements about "hear, my son, your father's instruction," are repeated Look at verse 10, "Hear, my son, accept my sayings.
Verse 20, "My son, give attention to my words, incline your ear to my sayings, do not let them depart from your sight, keep them in the midst of your heart, or your mind. Teach your sons to obey what you say. Now that means discipline. Go back to chapter 3 verse Here is discipline. And if we are to have dutiful faithful sons who carry on a righteous pattern, they must learn to obey their parents and discipline is part of that. Chapter 10 verse 13, "A rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding.
Later on in Proverbs it says he has rebellion in his heart, drive it far from him with a rod. This is discipline not done in anger but done in love. Whom the Father loves He disciplines. All of those things are taught in Proverbs. Teach your children to obey and use a rod to reinforce because God says physical punishment done in love is a strong corrective.
That way your children learn to obey their parents. And if they learn to obey their parents and their parents are advocating the law of God, they will learn to obey the law of God. And if they learn to obey their parents, they will learn to submit to the parents' authority and later on when they're living in society they will learn to submit to societal authority in any form. You have a task, father, to say to your son you must learn to fear your God, guard your mind and obey your parents.
You must learn how to submit to authority and since we represent the authority of God and are teaching you the wisdom of God, you must obey I do not believe there's any excuse for a rebellious child. I believe that children can be under control if they're properly taught by their fathers to obey. There's a fourth principle and this must be taught as well A father must teach his son You get on the offensive. A father has the responsibility to teach his children how to choose their friends. What did the Apostle Paul say? Bad company corrupts Bad company corrupts good morals.
Your children, believe me, cannot rise above their acquaintances. Rarely does a child have the capability to elevate himself beyond the constituent group in which he functions. You have to select and help him learn to select companions and not let them select him.
Go back to chapter 1 for a moment, I'll give you an illustration of it. Verse 10, a father would say to his son, "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.
If they say, and they appeal on the basis of excitement and adventure and a thrill, if they say, "Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood, let us ambush the innocence without cause, let us swallow them alive like Sheol, even whole as those who go down to the pit. Here's the gang appealing to the kid. And the gang comes along and sucks up one other person for their own wicked purposes. It's an unthinkable thing that people will do for a thrill. And they want to suck the innocent and the naive and the unwitting in to that.
Think about that little boy a week ago in the news who wouldn't take dope with his friends in New York City, so they set him on fire. The enticements can be pretty strong. Fathers, we have a tremendous task. You may not live in an inner city ghetto like New York, or East Los Angeles, but I'll tell you what, there is tremendous peer pressure coming upon your sons to conform to a standard of conduct that is the standard of conduct of the people around them.
You must teach them to select their companions and not be selected and then intimidated into that kind of alliance. The whole appeal here is to the father to fulfill his responsibility. In chapter 2 verse 11 the father has to teach his son how to be delivered from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things. You don't want to be around those kinds of people.
From those who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, you want to make sure your children aren't around those kinds of people who delight in doing evil and rejoice in the perversity of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways. Don't let your sons around those kinds of people. You instruct them how to choose their companions, those who lift them up.
Proverbs is kind of an interesting verse just jumping outside of our ten chapter fence a little bit. Proverbs at first reading looks a little hard to understand in English, "A man of many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. It says a man of many rea comes to ruin, but there is a aheb who sticks closer than a brother.
It's two different words for friend. A man who just wants a lot of acquaintances, who wants to be everybody's buddy is going to be in trouble. Better you should have a deep friend, an aheb, a loving friend who is loyal and honest and uplifting and holds you accountable, who lifts you up. Better a few of the right kind of friendships than a lot of the wrong kind. Fathers, you have the responsibility to God for the process of your children learning how to choose their companions. This is a father's duty Fifth, control your body. Any witting father who has any sense at all realizes that young men are going to develop passions that can lead them in to tragedy upon tragedy unless they learn how to control their body, their bodily desires.
And as you get in to this section, this is THE dominant theme throughout these first few chapters of Proverbs. Go to chapter 2 for a moment, verse 16, this is repeated and we don't have time to go in to all of it but I'll give you a little sense of what the writer says Well what does the word strange mean? Why do you have to worry about a foreign woman? Because she's away from home. Well what does that mean? Well she's away from her husband, she's away from her family, she's away from her friends, she's away from accountability and so being And it's real easy for her to act any way she wants because the constraints are off.
You beware of that roaming woman who is away from the point of her responsibility. Beware of the adulteress who flatters with her words, that leaves the companion of her youth Beware of her because her house sinks down to death and her tracks lead to the dead. Because adultery by biblical prescription required the death penalty. She'll bring you to death. Some think that this is a reference also to a venereal disease or even to the divine intervention of God in an act of punishment. But I think the primary issue here is way back to Deuteronomy chapter 22 where God says people who commit adultery are to be executed.
Passion is as strong as it is, however, as evidenced by the fact that men who would know they would have perhaps to lose their life would still follow their passion. At the moment in time lust for sex outweighs the desire to live. Chapter 5 follows it up. Verse 1, "My son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding that you may observe discretion, that your lips may reserve knowledge. And now then, my sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth, keep your way far from her and don't go near the door of her house and don't give your vigor to others.
Don't give your years to the cruel one and let strangers be filled with your strength and your hard earned goods go the house of an alien. Don't have to support the children of some woman that isn't even in your home. Don't give away your seed to someone else. Don't create children through someone else. Don't give your strength to another family and have to spend the rest of your life paying some kind of alimony or whatever. In the end your flesh and body are consumed. You'll say, "How I have hated instruction and my heart spurned reproof and I haven't listened to the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to my instructor.
Teach your son sexual purity. Chapter 6 takes it further, verse 20 and all the way down to the end, pick it up in verse 24, "Wisdom is given to you to keep you from the evil woman, the smooth tongue of the adulteress, don't desire her beauty in your heart, don't let her catch you with her eyelids, for on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread. An adulteress hunts for the precious life. There you are, this precious life, she just wants to hunt you.
Can you take fire in your bosom and your clothes not be burned? Can you walk on hot coals and your feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife, whoever touches her will not go unpunished. It's going to cost you and it's going to cost you dearly. Verse 32, "Anyone who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense. He who would destroy himself does it.
And his reproach will not be blotted out. You know, that's a good thing to keep in mind when you remember that it says in 1 Timothy 3 that one who is an elder must be above reproach. And if an elder or a pastor falls in to sexual sin and adultery, this text says that approach will not be blotted out. And once you bear that reproach and that stigma, it appears to be a permanent one, a permanent disqualification.
That's a heavy price to pay.
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Chapter 7, the whole chapter is devoted to a fascinating scenario. He's in the part of town he shouldn't be in. Rees-Mogg made each of his children a shareholder. Jacob was only just a teenager, but was already eagerly managing his own share portfolio, to the delight of the rightwing press. Yet whatever his exact role in the collaborations — and judging by how many of his favourite historical figures and hobby horses appeared, it was substantial — his worldview had clearly shifted.
Instead of warning against social and economic turmoil as a threat to conservatism and the well-off, he now saw it as an opportunity for them. After the millennium, many British and US rightwingers would follow him down that risky path.
fatherhood and family integrity magazine book 3 Manual
Jacob is not much of a writer. He has produced no books. He is probably too busy with politics and his business career. In , two years after becoming an MP, he contributed a short, rather stiff introduction to an essay collection published by the rightwing thinktank Politeia. The book also advised readers to use tax havens. The company also operates from Singapore, and has a subsidiary in the Cayman Islands. Both are tax havens. He also has a sly way with threats and euphemisms that his incautious father did not possess.
That may be something for patriotic Brexit supporters — and the rest of us — to ponder if we get prime minister Rees-Mogg. Play Video. Facebook Twitter Pinterest. Topics Politics books. Business and finance books Jacob Rees-Mogg features. Reuse this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded.