For example, when people are lying, they typically repeat certain words, almost as though they're reciting lines in a script, in the hopes that their point will come across to the listener. After all, making something up on the spot can be complicated and difficult, so people who lie tend to stick with key, go-to phrases to keep things simple. On the flip side, when people lie, they sometimes overshare the amount of information that they provide and give way more detail and specifics than would ever be necessary.
They do this in order to seem more honest, transparent, and believable, but in reality, it's overkill. Further, in addition to what people tend to say when they lie, it's also important to take note of how they're saying it. Specifically, when people lie, they have a tendency to touch or cover their mouths when they talk, almost signalling that they're holding something back. People are also inclined to sway, fidget, and even shake nervously when they're being dishonest, so it's imperative to look for any movements that seem anxious and unnatural. It's also believed that when people lie, they tend to look to the right while they're speaking — perhaps because they know that they're in the wrong.
Many times when a man is cheating, he looks for ways to stir up arguments, squabbles, and disagreements with his partner, and there are many reasons behind this fight-driven phenomenon. In the first place, many men who cheat are looking for ways to distract their partner and prevent them from figuring out what's really going on behind their backs. So by picking fights, men are able to divert their partner's attention to other topics in order to throw them off the scent.
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Whether it's a disagreement about cleaning up the bathroom, walking the dog, or picking up a prescription at the pharmacy, these small, petty, and seemingly insignificant fights and quips are meant to cover up big indiscretions. Additionally, when a man is prone to pick fights with his partner, this can also be a sign that he wants her to pull back and disengage from him and the relationship. After all, if your man starts treating you poorly, is critical of the things you're doing, and becomes argumentative, ill-tempered, and unreasonable, it's not uncommon that you'll want to withdraw from the situation.
In fact, men who pick fights are then able to use that as an excuse to "walk out" on the argument so that the real issue never has a chance to come out. Many guys even use this desire to cool off after a fight as an opportunity to leave and spend time with the other object of their affection. Further, when people are under a great deal of stress and pressure, they also tend to be more irritable, testy, and quarrelsome. And when a man is trying to hide the person he's seeing on the side, being stressed out is a common side effect. Another major indicator that your man is cheating on you is that he inadvertently calls you by the wrong name.
Also known as a Freudian slip, this is an instance in which a person ends up saying out loud what he or she's unconsciously thinking. And for a man who's cheating on his partner, it's not uncommon that the name of the person who's the new apple of his eye ends up popping out of his mouth, sometimes at inopportune times.
To that end, research has shown that situational stressors can cause Freudian slips , so when your guy's conscious mind is preoccupied, distracted, and nervous when he's around you, his unconscious mind is able to let loose. And when this happens, it's likely that the name of the person he's trying to suppress ends up coming out front and center. In many instances, when a man is being unfaithful, he goes out of his way to condemn and denounce the act of cheating as much as possible.
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In psychology, this concept is known as reaction formation , and it's when a person becomes overly obsessed with an idea, concept, or belief that's actually the complete opposite of his or her real thoughts and feelings about the issue. In the case of a cheating man, he may be so outspoken about his condemnation of cheating that it's actually a defense mechanism and coping tactic for his own indiscretions. This reaction formation helps him deal with and manage his own inner-conflict, and by being so openly and forcefully opposed to cheating, he's trying to convince others, as well as himself, that he's not really a cheater.
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So if you've noticed that your man is consistently finding ways to tell you and show you how fervently he's opposed to cheating, it's possible that he's a cheater himself. A classic sign that a man is cheating on you is that he suddenly has a new need for privacy. You may notice that he's taking his calls in the other room, clearing his browser history on the computer, as well as deleting his text and Facebook messages.
This is due to the fact that when men cheat, their ability to maintain their privacy is an important part of keeping up the illusion of their innocence. In many cases, men who cheat end up creating their own private world, with secret usernames, email addresses, social media accounts, hidden apps, and even separate phone numbers, bank accounts, and vacations. So if you've noticed that your man wants his privacy more than ever before, consider that he might be cheating on you.
A man's friends can give you clear insight into his character, priorities, interests, and pastimes.
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And while you can't control who your man is friends with, it's interesting to note that a man who cheats typically hangs out with other men who've also cheated. After all, not only is this one more thing that these men have in common and can discuss openly with one another, but they also share a similar bond, understanding, and attitude regarding cheating in general. Further, having friends who've cheated can also help your man validate, justify, and deal with his own unfaithful actions since he's close with others who've gone through similar situations. When it comes to men who cheat, there's a certain type of unsettling and disconcerting feeling that these men can end up generating in their partners.
And while these men may do everything in their power to hide their cheating, their words, actions, and behaviors can instill a sense of uncertainty, uneasiness, and doubt in their partner. And in many cases, women can pick up on the fact that something is off, even without tangible proof or hard evidence.
This concept is known as "gut feel," and it occurs when a person intuitively senses in the pit of his or her stomach that something just isn't right. Women who are being cheated on can often feel that something sinister is happening, simply because of pure instinct.
In fact, it's been said that women may have a stronger ability to hone into their gut feelings than men do because of a woman's innate ability to read others. So if you're sensing in your gut that your man is being unfaithful, have faith in your instincts and intuition and do everything in your power to unearth the truth. All rights reserved.
What all men do when they're cheating. He acts out of character Shutterstock. He cares more about his appearance Shutterstock. He's overly complimentary Shutterstock. He acts more distant Shutterstock. He's less intimate with you Shutterstock. He accuses you of cheating Shutterstock. He lies to you Shutterstock. He picks fights Shutterstock.
He calls you by the wrong name Shutterstock. The time he spent with another woman is entirely unaccounted for — often, with no explanation. I was online chatting with my mistress.
To take time for one's self is normal. But when it's out of the normal pattern — or is more and more frequent — it's a sign that something else is going on. Going into work early, leaving late, getting off the phone suddenly, and taking lots of private calls from a "relative" mom, sister, someone untraceable are also red flags. She knew something was up, because our sex life was always pretty active.
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She told me I was really aggressive in bed and that she hadn't seen me that way before. A sudden shift in what's "regular" or familiar in bed — without discussing wanting something new — is a big warning sign of cheating. All the men I interviewed expressed experiencing a huge rush of testosterone, which manifested as a new confidence during sex.
They felt strong, masculine, virile — like every woman wanted them. Their egos were growing daily. And our hotel visits were three or four times per week. Covering that was very difficult. I would make online transfers into PayPal and she couldn't see any of my transactions. Most cheating men will need an untraceable way to pay for things: gifts, meals, hotels, trips, etc.
Reloadable credit cards, PayPal or Venmo accounts, and eBay purchases are all great ways to hide large or frequent transactions. Definitely investigate large, random transfers or cash withdrawals. But I'd started a relationship with a new manager at the office, so I started going in to work more often. When I extended my business trips a day before or after, I actually needed at a remote site, extended office lunches and late hours.
Office affairs are very common , especially considering how much time we spend working together. He might mention his new "friend" to dispel any suspicions you have and if you pop in to the office unexpectedly, or he might even introduce you to his "coworker" to throw you off the scent.
Follow your gut and pay attention to his other behaviors. I would only text [my mistress] when it was safe and then delete the messages immediately. To this day my wife doesn't know how I communicated with [my mistress]. So, we established a new Gmail account and communicated in the drafts folder, without ever sending anything. Technology is now smarter and affairs have gone high-tech. A new password on his cell phone or computer, a change of password at your bank or cell phone company, or cell phones being "left in the car" were once valid signs of infidelity, but now, cheaters fly under the radar by using technology to do their communication dirty work.
Apps exist that allow text messages, online chat sessions and pictures to last for a certain amount of time and then disappear. While these signs aren't foolproof signs of cheating, a few taken in combination are sure signs that something is up. My advice: don't make accusations that you can't back up. But, if you do suspect it, sit him down for a long talk about your concerns. If that nagging feeling doesn't disappear, you have some choices to make — and perhaps some investigations to start. Charles J.