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To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about In Her Power , please sign up. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Community Reviews. Showing Rating details. Sort order. Jan 05, Chenice rated it really liked it. This self-help book may not be first, or last, of its kind but it's definitely one to read, write notes on and think about. I read this book over two days so I could savour each task, exercise and personal story and write personal notes and answers to them.
I absolutely love the personal stories and anecdotes shared in this book as well as the array of activities to get you think and engaged in the matter itself. I found the giving genuinely chart particularly interesting. A great starter self-help This self-help book may not be first, or last, of its kind but it's definitely one to read, write notes on and think about.
A great starter self-help book that will benefit any woman! A whole new career path opened up for her.
She also was a great help to her daughter as an emergency babysitter, and loved taking care of the little one. That was only the beginning. New opportunities started to open up for Ruth. One day, while she was swimming at the local pool club, someone approached her about auditioning for a com- mercial. She agreed, was selected, and did the spot.
Then, an agent who also frequented the recreation facility spoke to her, and the next thing she knew she had representation. She has even landed several parts in movies. To quote Ruth: Im living an amazing life and having a ball. Imagine, at my age! I never thought that this would be possible. Ruth faced her emptiness, reached out for support, and was able to reinvent her life.
Evelyn: Creating and Enjoying Her Own Life Evelyn, a single mother of a teenage daughter, often found herself giving unsolicited advice that didnt come from an authentic place. When she realized she was actually sabotaging herself by overeating and pushing her feelings down, she was able to start acting differently, using her energy more creatively.
My daughters boyfriend expressed confusion about which college to attend. I sat for hours, listening to his struggle. After our conversation, I found myself, almost robot-like, walking into the kitchen and standing before the medicine cabinet of my refrigerator.
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Id already had dinner, so I wasnt hungry. Standing there with one hand on the fridge door, I unexpect- edly confronted myself: Why am I telling him what to do when I dont even know what to do myself? I couldnt believe that I was still trying to take care of myself with food when all its ever accomplished is to numb my sense of inner emptiness for a short time and ultimately make me feel bad about myself. On that pivotal day, I knew I had to find out what I really needed and wanted.
Evelyn shared the experience with friends and was open to their feedback. Creating fig- ures from clay had a soothing effect on her. I found that my art was not only healing for me, it also uplifted people who saw it. I uncovered a talent that I always suspected I had. Her art became purposeful. She had a deep desire to contribute to the well-being of people who admired her sculptures.
At first it feels scary to step out in a new way. We can even feel fake. Yikes, this isnt who I am, we might say. But what that really means is I dont know this aspect of myself. Can I become friends with it?
IN HER POWER: Reclaiming Your Authentic Self
The answer is yes. Robin: Making Adversity a Catalyst for Growth Robin is an example of a woman who discovered a deeper calling through adversity. An attractive woman in her fifties, she under- went several losses over the past few years. Her grown daughter moved across the country, she and her husband divorced after twenty-four years of marriage, and her mother passed away.
She found herself under a great deal of stress because her major role as caregiver had been stripped away. The emptiness she felt caused her to go deeper, and what she discovered is a flourishing inner life. By reaching out to friends and a therapist, she realized that she had disowned her creative voice as a playwright by put- ting her familys needs first. While in the throes of loss, the last thing Robin expected was a resurgence of her creativity.
Lifes seeming obstacles can offer a breakthrough rather than a breakdown if we dont try to deny the pain. Instead, we can ask, What gifts are veiled by this pain? I want to open my heart and mind to them. When we close our hearts to lifes challenges, our hearts simultaneously close to its gifts. Sometimes Im terrified about whats to come, but excited at the same time. Rebuilding her career in her fifties wasnt easy. But she continued to write, created a one-woman show in which she starred, and had one of her plays performed by professional actors.
Reflecting on her process, Robin shared: Its taken me a long time to acknowledge my artistic talent. The fear of being rejected was a big part of what stopped me from exposing myself. At this point in my life, Ive learned that if I dont risk that rejection, Im never going to get anywhere. What also encouraged her to write and perform was a commitment to supporting others in discovering and expressing their own creativity. She joyfully exclaimed, The bigger purpose of my work is to help people understand how special they are.
The Gift of Growing through Pain Robins transformation is not unusual. My own veils remained tightly wrapped around me through a failed marriage. The insights that emerged as a result of a traumatic divorce freed me to reclaim my power and make changes in my life. And I was able to support women going through similar situations. This has become the basis of my lifes work: to empower women through media. When my first marriage broke up and my husband left, I was devastated. I wondered who I was without him.
I didnt know if I could go on. Instead of isolating myself in my grief, I reached out to friends, humiliating as it was to reveal my obvious neediness. Several months passed. Then one night, while waiting to meet an acquaintance of mine in front of a church, a young woman walked up the steps. She looked at me with very sad eyes. My hus- band just left me and I am terrified to be alone. I remember thinking, I know just how you feel. I leaned over, took her hand, and assured her, You will get through this, even if right now you dont know how.
I revealed my own story to her, holding back nothing. I talked about the fear, insecurity, and aloneness I felt.
BY Helene Lerner
By sharing one of my darkest moments, I was able to have significant impact and support another woman who was moving through her own despair. The power of our strength is undeniable and is the foundation of the business I created more than a decade ago to help women and girls thrive. Assessing Your Capacity to Have a Signicant Impact Reflect on the questions below to have a better idea of the impact you exert. Then try the exercises that follow. In what areas of my life would I like to have a greater impact?
Exercise: Become Aware of Your Self-Talk Throughout this week, maintain a journal for describing any situ- ations in which your self-talk tries to convince you that you cannot have an impact.
In Her Power: Reclaiming Your Authentic Self - Beyond Words Publishing
Note the feelings that register and how you handle them. By becoming aware of what happens to you when you begin to pull back, you can choose to act differently the next time you are faced with a similar situation. You are going against habit, so expect to feel uncomfortable.
It may feel like you are jumping off a cliff, when in actuality its more like stepping off a curb. Three Tools: Your Inner Resources Having an impact, as the women in the stories did, requires taking an action outside your comfort zone and drawing on resources. Right within you is all you need to discover and develop your unique gifts, and make important changes in your life. I think of these inner resources as a set of three tools. They are the practice of inquiry, the Spiritual Power Muscles, and the use of intuition.
They can be used not only to remove the first veil and develop the facet of power in this chapter, but are useful in lifting the veils and accessing the facets of power throughout the book. First Tool: Self-Inquiry One practice that will connect you with your power is inquiry. Inquiry creates an opening to observe how the veils function so that you can reduce their false claims.
Instead of looking for others to supply the answers, we go within to find the truth through guided questions, reflections, meditations, or by writing your insights in a journal. For example, we may become so acclimated to living out a persona that we actually become convinced that we know our- selves. But what we really know is our limited beliefs about ourselves. It can be startling to dis- cover, for example, that weve been keeping ourselves boxed in by indulging in overeating, overspending, over-anythingperpetu- ating limiting beliefs about ourselves because we are afraid to step out in a new way and explore our talents and abilities.
Second Tool: Spiritual Power Muscles An invaluable tool in my work coaching womenas well as in my own growthis the concept of the Spiritual Power Muscles. Just as our physical muscles enable our physical motion, such as walking or lifting weights, our spiritual muscles provide the foundation for our personal power, and are easily strengthened when exercised. The Connective Muscle gives us the capacity to fully engage with others: our friends, family, network, mentors, or supporters.
On a larger scale, it enables us to acknowledge the similarities between mankind, as well as the differences. For example, when you meet someone who comes from a country other than yours, you appreciate how they are different from you but seek to find common ground. Our Creative Muscle, on the other hand, helps to distinguish our uniqueness. It allows us to express our particular talents in order to contribute to the world in which we live.
It enables the creation of new ideas and products. This muscle also enables us to be innovative in handling challenging situations. Our Courageous Muscle is engaged when we step out of our habits and try something new, not knowing what the results will be. When it is in gear, we can face challenges head-on and accept the changes that may result. Our self-respect grows as we come to fully participate in our own lives. That is courageous. The three Spiritual Power Muscles work together most of the time, as the diagram below illustrates.
In essence: Accept a compliment, seek out feedback from trusted sources, and truly listen and absorb what you hear. She considered the criticism, wondering if she should step up or step down.
In Her Power: Reclaiming Your Authentic Self by Helene Lerner -- Ch. 1
She stepped up and eventually became a leader. We need women to assert themselves, says Lerner, in order to grow the ranks of female leaders. When you know something, have the courage to step forward. Approach obstacles with confidence, realizing that you have the resources to deal with them. Otherwise, individual women are left behind and organizations suffer.
Lerner suggests building confidence by quieting your inner critic, taking stock of and credit for your achievements, and continuously pushing yourself to step up. Women often play many roles—worker, wife, mother, friend. But Lerner says keeping yourself constantly busy, without taking time to stop for quiet reflection , will derail your balance and success.