Hi, I really enjoyed reading this and I feel like I try to do the things you suggested doing and when I tell my husband to he does these things. The problem is, he was married once before and I came across pictures of her in his cell phone even when we got together that he used to carry with him all the time. He picked their wedding song, he kept her picture with him.
Do you have any advice for me? I just need help. Can you help? Can you suggest where I go for help? Am I wrong?
11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today
I can handle it if you think so. I will believe anything to save to feelings at this point. It is never too late to make things right. Forget about his ex, dont u even think about her; will only torture yourself and put your self esteem low. He choose you for some reason, remember what it were and get back to yourself. Some people find it harder to get over the previous relationship, especially if they were not the one to break up.
Give him time. Remember, he is with you! NOt with her! It is not a competition. One of my client married her boyfriend when she was Think about it, it makes so much sense. I admired her for it. She was so loving. I admire his new wife. It can happen! He also planned lots of huge surprises for her while they were together and was very jealous of her with other guys.
It used to really annoy me in the beginning because he never did those things for me. The relationship he had with her ended. It did not work. And like Ronit said — you should be happy with yourself first before you expect someone else to make you happy. Best of luck to you both! Marriage can only work if things are done together. If one person needs to fix it you take the risk of changing it to something worst. It is sad to hear that your husband cheated on you.
I am sure that what happens after cheating is that the level of trust is low and you both need to build the trust again. My mum says it takes long time to milk a cow and seconds to kick the bucket and spill the milk — I think trust is the same. I am glad the tips are helpful. You can print it and share it with him and try to pick some for yourself too. Hi — these as tre exactly all the things I require from my husband to fix our marriage since he cheated on me and if I am to continue with this relationship I need him to show me the things I have been asking for and he just doesnt get it.
Have told him to check this website out so hopefully he get the message now. I am sooo glad these tips are on here. I started to doubt if I was asking too much wanting these things in my life — but here they are and it makes sense for a happy marriage. Many thanks Ronit — this site is much appreciated. Sorry for babbling on …. After cheating, both need to work together to better the relationship. I am glad you find the tips useful. I hope your husband find them useful too.
I recommend reading the whole series. Communication is the key. Be friends with your partner and share all your desires. I think communication is the key. They disagree on what does it mean and what is the right way. The Motivational Speaker. I like your list. Thank you for sharing your list with us.
Be loyal. I hear that a lot. The first time I had to make my happy list it was not easy. He said the same thing about my list. I guess the most important comment was that we can not really make others happy, they need to do that themselves. This is what I write in all my Be Happy in life site.
Thank you for visiting my site. If she has gained, she knows it. I loved your tips. So simple, so easy to follow. I hope many people read the comments.
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I certainly agree that if there is to be a happy marriage, each individual must be happy with himself. I would have appreciated this advice when I was married. I would have learned a lot about my husband and what made him tick. Ultimately, each person must take responsibility for themselves and their own happiness. I hope this will help with new relationships. When we love ourselves — it is the greatest love of all.
Book your private life coaching with Ronit Baras and learn how to be happy in life. Help her fill in her hugs-a-day tank with lots of hugs and kisses. Cook dinner from time to time. Husbands who cook have happier marriages. Stay and help while cleaning up after meals. Many couples fight over cleaning up. If you do it together, it will take half the time, become part of your quality time and then leave more time for romance. Find a loving nickname for her. Mark special dates on your calendar. There are not that many dates to remember: mainly her birthday and your wedding anniversary.
15 Key Secrets To A Successful Marriage
But if you really want to be a super husband, remember the date that you first became a couple. Take the kids out on your own from time to time to give her some space. It can be as simple as offering some time off on the weekend to allow her to sleep in a little bit longer, or as easy as organizing an evening out with the kids. When she is upset, listen to her but do not try to give advice unless she asks for it.
Tell her how much you love to touch and smell her. Invite her to a movie or a restaurant like you would have if you were dating. Write her love notes and put them in places where she would not expect to find them, like inside the laundry basket, on the mirror in the bathroom, inside her wallet or on the visor in her car. Shower the kids or read them a story. I have to say that having watched my husband doing these things for many years with our children makes me love him more and more everyday.
It is such a simple, beautiful thing to see father and kids reading a story together, that it makes the entire family happy. Offer some technical help if she is struggling with remotes, computers or electrical wiring. Say something nice about her choice in clothes. Bring her flowers. Give her a massage. You are strong and manly. Take the garbage out. Bring home dinner from time to time as a surprise. Try not to do this if she has already prepared a dinner.
It is always better to check first and make sure the dinner is not all ready yet. Count how many times you say this phrase during your relationship and I am sure you will find it much easier to spend many happy years together. Give her a kiss for no reason. Kiss for the love of kissing. Kiss in the morning and remember to always, always, always kiss at night before you fall asleep, even especially if you have just had a fight. Stay cool when she is having a long phone conversation with her girlfriend, mom or sister.
These phone calls are a way for her to work things out and get emotional support. They are good for you… Bring home a sexy movie from the video shop to watch together. Learn how to use the washing machine and use it without being asked. Go shopping with her if she asks you to. Consider this quality time.
9 Tips for a Hot and Healthy Marriage | Psychology Today
You can do the grocery shopping while you talk together about your plans and dreams. Clean the toilet from time to time. Bring her small gifts. Hold her hand even when there are people around. It is a public display of affection and this is important to her. Initiate weekends away. Keep a photo of her in your wallet.
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Invite his friends over for a BBQ. Tell him how much you love the way he touches you. Have dinner ready when he comes home from work. Add candles even if there are kids sitting at the table. It is good for them to watch mom and dad expressing their love. Call him during the day and whisper loving things into the phone. Offer him his favorite drink. Tell him how much you love him.
Ask him about his day and listen. When you go shopping, ask him if he wants you to get him something. Grown men need attention and being sick is their way of getting it when nothing else seems to work. Tell him he is right sometimes. Learning about yourself will better equip you to grow as an individual and a partner.
What are his dreams for the future? What is her worst fear? Explore Intimacy Marital intimacy can open your relationship to a whole new level of enjoyment and closeness. It is important, however, to remember that intimacy does not always mean sexuality. An often forgotten aspect of intimacy is the emotional type. Learn the difference between emotional and physical intimacy and when each one is most appropriate.
Offering your partner one type when they really need the other can create problems in your relationship.
Explore Common Interests Couples thrive when they share similar interests. Doing things separately is not bad but common interests are important to healthy marriages. A common interest may be cooking or eating new foods together, going for walks or playing cards. Create a Spiritual Connection Many couples grow closer when they share some form of spiritual connection. This can be done in many different ways. Improve Your Communication Skills The ability to talk and listen to each other is one key to a healthy marriage. You should never assume your partner knows what you are thinking or feeling.
Tell your spouse what is going on—and as a spouse, know when to simply listen. Learning to really hear your partner is a skill that may require practice. There are many resources available like books, marital education workshops and online courses. All of these options can help couples learn how to communicate more effectively. Guess what, you are going to do the same thing! Sometimes it might even be on purpose after an argument or misunderstanding. Forgiveness is a tricky but important virtue in a marriage especially since no one is perfect.
Try to allow your partner some room to make a few mistakes because you will also make some of your own. When you make a mistake, act quickly to apologize and fix problems. Doing so will help to encourage forgiveness and strengthen your marriage.