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Minds Articles. Subscription offers. Subscription sign in. Read latest edition. UK Edition. US Edition. Log in using your social network account. Please enter a valid password. Keep me logged in. Try Independent Minds free for 1 month See the options. What to do if you're being bullied at work. You can form your own view. If after a verbal confrontation, or written one does not stop the action, you may send another more forceful one, making it perfectly clear that any further harassment will prompt you to go to management.
They likely will disappear, and if not, submit your written and etc. Oh another thing too is that if your email system contains read receipts send your message and clearly express the fact you need an acknowledgement that they have read your message, and indicate that given no read receipts you are going to go and personally report them, and very likely you will be OK thereafter.
I am being personally harrassed by managers, who are trying to pressure me to quit, or to fabricate evidence. I do send myself amendments to continuously update the memorandum that and again reply to myself, then a progressive written record develops. It has gotten quite bad, I fired at them end professionally spelt out precisely what they are embarking on. Good luckn and hope the problem is resolved so you can proceed with your work in peace and not feeling uncomfortable, once the bad behavior towards you gets halted one way or the other. Thanks for your insight. I a female, I work in an all male environment.
They are all great, except for one who recently started. I had no idea what I was about to experience was gonna effect me in the way it does. Telling lies, manipulation, playing us all off with each other, and now he's saying he's being bullied?? I wrote anonymous letters to HR because of his behaviour, his sexual, sleazy conversations which I felt uncomfortable with.
But I was the one who got all the fleck. As he denied everything and I was put on probation. He is now telling lies about his home life so he doesn't have to do certain things. I find this so frustrating as he was, and is be believed over me and everyone else who has put in complaints about him. In all my years working there I have never came across the like. I love my job, get on with everyone and I don't want to leave.
Please help. Thank you for this very important article and sharing your story and resources. So much appreciation. Their has already been 3 deaths from insensitive behavior to full on bulling from bosses to upper management. I need help to stop the murder suicide to Caltrans Lead Worker public hanging suicide. As mentioned another very important factor is the secret meetings, always, always follow up to the person with a recap of your secret meeting with that person, what happened, who said what, ect..
Again the more the merrier, the more people involved, the more the why birds fly down as to why did u not do something about this harassment. NOBODY really wants to be involved in harassment suites, terrible for your job references, and any hint of harassment either for or against you, can sink you into the land of unemployment forever. Harvey Weinstein yeah he is a bonus for those who are rich, and powerful and have tons of lawyers, which most do not have in the real world.
If you are dealing with multiple managers, supervisors ect who are harassing you, go one at a time, remember those wild animal vidoes, have you ever seen another zebra rush into the water to protect the other zebra against the alegator, helll no never. Same approach at work, one at a time, people will back away and will not want to be involved or risk their jobs, too back a harrassing boss, female or male, and yes chicks do it just as bad as the guys, just in a harassing way more than sexual Interesting articles as it has become a high pattern of female on female bullying at work.
Canada is rated as the 6th worst country for allowing bullying and harassment at work. I have seen 11 women turn there backs on one woman who was being harrassed by her male boss. First of all document everything and I mean everything and send it to your private email, or copy it to take home with you. CC your supervisor so now he or she is involved and the why birds will ask him or her, why they did not do anything??
CC your supervisor about everything let them do their jobs that is what they get paid for, if they give you a hard time, cc other managers in your department, and even more if necessary, the more the merrier. Your evidence will be key, as all HR fear lawsuites in this now the day of Harvey Weinstein and yes Oprah did know, but waited until some poor little woman had the guts to set this all about. It sickens me that so many women in power knew, but did nothing. Yes some people will say goodbye to you at work but its better to be feared that liked, for like can turn to hate very quickly.
With all that evidence docmented, all professional no emotional stuff, and names ccd, they will fear lawsuites but like any prison environment you will get respect and will keep your job, while your harassing manager, boss, ect will be let go. I am women working in kind of a mens world the security industry. Ive been here for almost a year now and from my fisrt day i was indimitated.
But specifically by one idiot this idiot were just an controller like myself but he got promoted to a coordinator and since then he really made it hard for me to get up every morning and come to this dreadfull place. Others will make the same joke as myself then itds fine but when I do he isolates me from the whole team.
Sometimes I dont even talk to him or would come to work being polite and friedly he would still isolate me. Our useless hr does not want to hear compliants. Ive become so depressed that I lose my apitite and sense for humour and I dont want go in public. I do not know what to do anymore I cant just quite this job I need the money. Photos of mistakes have been taken, blamed onto me, undated or timed, so I cannot confirm if I was actually at work on that date. This is such a great article. In the last paragraph, you refer to bullying as a travesty. Please, please, please change that to tragedy.
Those words do not mean the same thing. I have a similar problem. When i started my job i worked hard to get my contract this was made hard by a managing director and a supervisor he had inapproriate relations with. She took a disliking to me and they both made my life extremely difficult, i suffer with severe anxiety and they are aware of this they used it to their advantage.
I had hoped the bullying would stop and i managed to quit smoking and started getting my life back on track but another member of staff took offense to this, he started to spread rumours about me attempting to turn people against me which was not hard for him, the people i work with all generally band together to bully people which means they all cover eachothers backs and use subtle tactics like following me to the bathroom and keeping an eye on me constantly making out that i dont do my job properly.
I managed to dispel this notiok by working ten times harder and proving i am good at my job, so they altered their tactics and insinuated i am a trouble maker and they pinned the managing directors dismissal on my shoulders, now all staff in my workplace assumes i am a troublemaker no matter how much i keep my head down and do my job. To make matters worse they member of staff who started these rumours has been promoted to supervisor so he now hes more authority to make my life a misery he has started taking over my duties and setting me to do menial tasks.
My anxiety is out of control and my depression getting worse even if my meds and therapy help i will still be made a target of since my managers are in this together. My personal situation is that i live alone i am a tennant to a private landlord. I do not have any qualifications and i have been between jobs because of my previous bad habits. I am an excellent worker and very intelligent i am a fast learner but because of my past i do not have many opportunities to earn a good living and have a good life, i have major confidence issues and a bad nervous complex i believe my anxiety depression and nervous complex stems from a possible personailty disorder but i am not very good at asserting myself so my doctor will not do any tests or consider any other illnesses they just prescribe me anti depressants and as i am completely alone i have no one who can support me or defend me.
I am being walked all over and no matter how much i try to get my life back on track people are making it harder because i am an easy target. I need my job because i have bills to pay if i lose my job i lose my house and i lose everything i have been working towards. The people at work are well aware of this and this makes me an easier target for them so you see i am in a hopeless situation. I have absolutely nobody at work or in my personal life i can turn to for support and as it stands i am vulnerable to anyone who wants to take advantage and even the nhs are not willing to help.
I am pretty desperate for any advice please anything or any service i can turn to. Email me if you have any advice please cookiez gmail. I was bullied in a factory from to many years back it was verbal abuse name calling back stabbing and being screamed at by two work colleagues I didn't report this due to the shame and embrassment I'm not a confident person and ended up with very ill health due to this. I ended up having a nervous breakdown in and left working in the factory.
I since had a volunteer job which I loved but the supervisor also had bullying tactics to me she insulted me in front of others and public huminated and degraded me about my weight and the size of my chest. I had another breakdown soon afterwards I reported her to the manager about her unapproiate words and bullying behavior no action was taken against the supervisor I thought it was unprofessional and degrading what she said to me. I had to go back on sick because of this.
No body should be degraded or public huminiated no matter who you are. It brought back the bullying episode many years before. I've not work since I now suffer from panic disorder and anxiety. This is a great article, especially the App recommendation.
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I am in HR and will be recommending this to the employees in my organization. I have just experienced workplace bullying to its worst kind to the point of not going back. The anixety and mental stress on my health is very draining and loss of sleep is. The isolation was deafening to the point of suicidal thoughts. I spent a lot of my days on my own people were ignoring. I came from a foreign country 11 years ago.
I had been working almost 9 months at this immigration attorney firm before I was fired for complaining the bullies. I did the accounting job and manage the contracts, etc. I was nice and respectful to everyone at work but still became the target of workplace bullying. The firm is very good at bullying. The bullies know who the target is and actively to do this. When I just started working, I was told the boss did yelling and name calling toward the employees.
I will mainly tell about what the most bullying person and the CFO did to me. The bully is also an immigrant like me. He sent me the emails about the questions are not specific; I had to spent much more time to figure out. I pointed these issues out to him; this made him and the CFO unhappy. Then they picked on me much more harder. He once said to my boss in front of me that his prior employer had said if the employee did not fit in the culture, let he or she go and they can get cheaper and better one. The boss trusts him very much.
I got my bachelor degree on accounting two years ago and graduated as an honor student. I cherish this job very much. I know people value the team work in this country, but not in this firm. I did the work very carefully and try to be professional and cooperative. I did what I was asked to do, such as substitute the receptionists while they are at lunch, and do some translation when they needed. I wish if I do perfect, they cannot pick on me and can reduce the abuses.
Because I can prove myself I am competent person and not let the bully accuse me of the errors he made up and was impossible for me to make. The CFO, another bully, who just works at the firm two days a week, was also angry with me. She blamed me of having problem of communication. When I sought the communication with her, she was angry with me and blamed me of working like a robot. The situations got escalated two weeks ago.
Workplace bullying - Wikipedia
After the weekly meeting, I received an email from the bully. The boss was waiting for us. But I cannot find the notes which should be on my desk then. I looked at everywhere including rest room and kitchen. But no found and I have to go to meet them without the note. When I came to the upstairs, he was sitting with our boss.
He showed me the note. And I felt relief and also weird. How can he get this in my office without acknowledging me? The bully pointed at the contract that client signed and asked me what happened to the contract. I had to show him my cooperative to prevent from inducing any conflicts and being humiliated by him. At the end of my answer I said I still needed check the System which used to record the contracts to figure out.
Because I opened so many cases, without checking the system, I had no way to answer whatever his question is. He also became more rude and aggressive and raised his voice. I feel like I was interrogated like a criminal. He was absolutely furious and glared at me standing up and left. I asked for the papers about case and want to check in the system.
We went back to offices separately. He gathered the other two staffs in accounting department to talk to them. I was asked to join them later. Till then, I was told what the problem really was. What a big deal? I can just simply search my emails to find out if I had sent this case to her by email. If I did, I can pretty sure I had gave the folder to the paralegal because the email sent was based on the folder created, designed by work process. They suggested me to get the signature list from the receipents from now on to prevent this from happening again.
This has been first time happened since I started working here. It was very weird. The CFO also joined us. She concluded because the accounting department is at the half basement floor, the lowest level of the building, we need to bear the weight Pressure from second floor where the clients are received and third floor where the paralegals and attorneys are working due to the gravity theory.
What an explanation of the great theory! Who does she want to bear the gravity? Obviously it is me. She wanted me got bullied, criticized by anybody would like to. I stopped her and said I would discuss the issue with another member of the department who are the sister of the boss. I have been asking her whenever I had some questions and seek the help from her before, given the CFO worked two day a week here.
The CFO said not to talk this with her and this is for your safe. I said I wanted to sue and complain about the bully. What he had done to me is bullying. This affected me very much that I cannot concentrate to work and fell upset. I told her the process of the incident. I just would like him to treat me like a person and fairly. He absolutely can be straight forward to me and let me know what happened or what I need to do, instead of interrogate me like a criminal, to humiliate and sabotage me like this.
She let the CFO joined us to discuss together. The CFO accused me of stopping her to speak. I said she is bias. She was reluctant to learn how the bully had been treating me and just accused of me. She said this is the culture. She was born here. She knows. I said I did nothing wrong, Why? Can this be an excuse? I ask what the culture they want me to fit in? What on earth they need me to do? No answer. The CFO asked me if I communicated this way with my husband at home.
She blamed me of not letting her speak. But the topic she raised I really cannot talk about. I think her question is not relevant to the bullying problem we were talking about. She got mad with me and left. Another morning, I met with the bully and told him if he ever took things from my office again, I would call the police. But he required me to write down what I just said. I ignored him. I just wanted him to take this seriously. I wish he could change because this was.
I'm currently in this situation My Office mate does everything that she can to portray herself as a sweet woman who would never harm a fly. But she likes to gossip and bash people behind their backs all the time. After a particularly bad week of her doing this type of stuff and then deciding that I was her personal yes-man I told her that I just want a professional relationship and some space from her.
She's spent the last 3 months filing complaints against me, convincing everyone at work that I'm a bully, and isolating me as best as she can. I'm lucky that I have a few people here who just don't buy it and a few more who know what she's like. But that being said I am looking to leave and she is the sole reason. I have worked for a governmental social services agency for over 20 years. Up until a year ago, I have had very positive performance evaluations and received kudos from many work associates.
One year ago, A woman I hired about 10 years earlier became my boss. Since that time, I have been investigated for personnel actions 4 times I am at the end of a process that will most likely result in being fired. My new supervisor and 3 of my peers all female have been making allegations which are either completely false or greatly overstate reality. They have had "secret meetings" I have even had a couple of staff members tell me I was being mobbed.
It has become clear that our HR department is complicit. I was sent home paid for almost two months and was never told exactly what I had done although there were whispers about my threatening someone and have a gun in my car completely false. My last investigative interview lasted over 3 hours and took on the tone of the Spanish Inquisition. These agencies are SLOW to act. I have been having cardiac and gastric problems as well as headaches. As a social service professional, It amazes me just how horrific these people are being and the extent to which they will go.
Fortunately, I chose to exit the job and am now away from the harassment and the toxicity of the environment the manager creates; however, I have been personally and professionally affected negatively by it! While it is likely my career and reputation may never be the same again; I am hopeful I will get back to being strong, confident me again!
It is articles and comments such as these which are helpful to me in trying to make sense of the experience so I can heal and get off the emotional rollercoaster I have been on this year. What a ride it has been and this gal will be glad to see it end! I remember someone who was a bully back in my school days - unfortunately he was my team leader on the job i had - he tried to turn all my work colleagues against me and made me think that i couldn't do my work properly - i knew if i left my job they would of won - so i gritted my teeth and lasted till the end of my training - i made a complaint about my team leader and he was then demoted from his position, i heard he was so angry and humiliated and it served him right.
I was furious. That now counted as a loss towards the store and it technically was MY fault. True bullying doesn't help workplace morale and efficiency. Hazardous to the employee's health and also their livelihood, especially if the employee is a healthcare provider!!!!! Has been out of control for while I'm still there for reasons I'm suffering from a bully like I used to be.
I used to be really good at my job and so I would expect my peers to listen to me even though I wasn't the boss - I didn't understand that concept of "boss" which really just means the person everybody on the crew reports to. When you are the rookie, it's good to be given the Faith that you're going to try your hardest, and that eventually you're going to be just as good as them.
Everybody goes through a learning stage but when you're struggling and aren't realizing their help is needed and helpful sometimes you think it would be better without them - even though in their own way they're contributing. You just don't know how! I appreciate greatly this post - you really addressed it well, thank you! My bully is my boss, which therefore the other employees follow suit.
I have been here 4 years and it has been the same since day 1. I am afraid to stand up for myself because I have a family to provide for and cannot afford to lose this job, especially in this economy. I am also pregnant which seems to be treated like a sin since my boss doesn't have children and makes very blatant and insulting remarks about how children are terrible, disgusting, stupid and so on.
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I want to do something about it. I learned how to document incidents through this article.
4 Signs You're Being Bullied At Work & What To Do About It
So thank you. It will hopefully prove to be useful in the future. It is sad to see so many bulling incidents happen around world in every corner of our workplaces. The bullies use isolation to seperate the victims from the group. The bullies often develop a support group around them, it makes almost impossible for someone not align with them to obtain a job let alone to survive. I also left my job of 19 yrs due to bullying, it was devastating to be ganged up on by 5 people, 2 of which were supervisors. No help from anyone, union, HR, nobody wanted to go anywhere near that, or they themselves would have been targeted.
Due to all that it took me awhile to heal and understand what made me a target in the first place, and find the strength to find another job, but bullying is in every workplace. Pray, pray and pray some more the Lord is with each and everyone of us. God Bless. I work in the steel industry with lots of weak managers who think they're above everyone because they haven't done the hard yards and got their job because they have family or mates in there and abuse the system.
Do as I tell you, not as I do. That won't wash with me! I'm not the sort of bloke to take that crap, man up or you'll cop a beating in a very physical and humiliating way with me. I might add I'm also a biker, but not necessarily a tough guy. While I have had numerous criminal assault charges over the years, I don't care when it comes to low life managers who think they're tough. They won't look so tough going home with a black eye and a split lip to their spouses for their trouble.
I am bullied at work and the aggressor is insanely jealous person. She has even spilled over into my personal life. The other people know how much of a bitch she is they don't cross her. They don't like me and don't like me to speak up. I have to work. It is a fess pool of people from the management down. I will never forgive the male superior who yelled at me and called my work "a pile of shit!
I was so traumatised by the verbal abuse at work that I had to visit a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with acute depression Thank you for sharing your story and providing this advice. It has made someone in a similar situation feel better and a little stronger Jennifer Anne, thanks so much for your comment. I am sorry this brought back so many bad memories. It sounds like you were experiencing severe bullying. I am glad you were able to leave that workplace and I wish you all the best.
Thanks again for your thoughtful comments. God bless you, too. I pray healing for you after those terrible experiences. Take care. I feel your pain so much. This makes me fall into a deep sadness as I was bullied in the year from past 2 jobs in - by awful departmental work cliques. This one guy would follow me around and make hurtful comments to me to the women in the office. I hated him and still do so much. Then the girl next to me would say what did you do to her? They all conspired together to make my 8 hours at hell at work.
Gosh I really really hate these people. They truly are energy vampires with evil intentions. I again feel your pain. God Bless you and much prosperity and longevitiy at your workplace. Good peaceful energy to you.
I have a question. Several weeks ago a Sr. I have followed up with supervisor weekly and am not getting real response or action. What should I do next? Kissadtales, thanks so much for your beautiful comment. And I agree with you -- it does show what a cruel society we live in, with bullying being so commonplace these days. It seems to be every man or woman for themselves. And for sure, it takes courage to stand up to those who are behaving this way. Thanks for the reference to Jesus Take care and God bless you! Mapol, thanks so much for sharing your story and insight.
That is great that you had the wherewithal to know how to handle the situation and stand up for yourself. Liya, I am so glad it was helpful and that you are actually getting out of your situation. For sure, documentation sure is the key but we often don't know that until it's too late. Thanks so much for your comment and have a good day! Andrew, thanks so much for the comment. The owners create the company climate and it is unlikely to ever change.
I wish you the best in your situation. It sounds like it is tough. Thank you for this Hub of importance! To be bullied can happen just about anywhere these days. Just was reading how a young teen was bullied by classmates wrapped up in plastic and dunked in toilet. Then returned him to the class room.
14 Signs you’re being Bullied at Work: 8 Tips to Stop it
The teacher did nothing to save him. He tried to reach her desk and fell against it and broke his esophagus or wind pipe when he fell. So sad! Bulling is just another open avenue to murder people in a suttle way that escalates to that end. Your hub is showing that we are living in a inhumane type of thinking even in the workplace people go to work to victimize other humans. I really think these are the weaker people because they are followers of the majority's.
Thanks very much for this article. I'm just getting out of that situation and this is very helpful information for the future. Bullying in the work place is an extremely common occurrence, especially nowadays. I remember, back in the late 's, having to file a grievance against an overzealous supervisor, which I'm glad I did.
I ended up leaving that toxic environment, which was better for me, on the long run, despite my co-workers being upset about it. I had a great job which I loved very much got on well with everyone and one day my employer put on a new person but this person became my bully she would make me feel bad about everything I did eventually I went to my boss but she told me that I should put up with it and that I was the one with the problem. When I put my resignation in she said that I should think about what I was doing but I cant put up with treating people with disrespect as I am a good person who believes we should respect everyone.
Am I the one with the problem. My advise is do not go to H. I wasn't aware I was being bullied. In the back of my mind, I see those demand from my bosses as a challenges but later did I find out they were ganging up against me to kick me out of my position. I stood up and cried for help but my called for help and support was left to the dust for the past 7 mths. I was like you, I decided to leave The bullies I have encountered are not abusive nor aggressive they just constantly confused you and keep changing their focus I was a top performer in my organisation before this bully came on board and became my supervisor Some of you may have heard of my story where I was harassed and bullied at multiple job locations by the same very aggressive workplace bully who had actually ruined my career.
I feel heartbroken that this bully was able to get away with what he had done. I just re-published my book on amazon where the company names and locations were added back in. House is in foreclosure and we are filing bankruptcy this week. My story is true and at the same time very hard to believe with how someone can use a very aggressive version of workplace bullying and use it as a way to get ahead. Here is the link to my new book Targeted Exposed. I'm trying to publicize my story but have been having problems with that. I'm at the point where if I find people who are in the news business and who can definitely help me with exposing my story, I would consider on sending them my book for free.
Any help or advice from anyone here will be greatly appreciated. One joins and form an alliance to attack me verbally. Its really depressing when colleagues whom i thought of as close and dearful to me began to discriminate me. Because i am not good with words, my words were misinterpreted even though i did the right things.
Trying to help now does not make any sense. Is there really a price to pay for trying to help others at work? Asking people to do things which are in their area of responsibility is wrong too? Should i have done those tasks by myself since i know how too. Seniority at work comes with such a huge price tag. I am really tired. I have been bullied my entire life from school to college, one thing i have noticed is people who are often bullied are people who have thin skin they are sensitive and empathitic and often very good people who always help others and never hurt others but still these are the people who gets picked on right away because we are the easiest prey and these psychopath bullies don't have any morals whatsoever.
The way is to firstly understand that its not your problem, the second thing is to stay strong and fight and not care about your "image among others" or "what people will think" because that's the only way out to deal with a bully, people in general don't care about right or wrong to them if their needs are met that's all that matters. It's like this on the extreme left are the bullies, those whom you consider as "friends" are somewhere in the middle, you are on the extreme right. Don't ever think the bully is going to have a change of heart because they don't have a heart.
The only way to deal with this nonsense is fight, win or die don't matter just fight, that's your purpose, don't care about what people will think and don't get confused by other people's "words of wisdom" that's all bullshit you were right you got hurt you need to make it even that's all that matters. I knew within the first 3 minutes of my new job that I had met the most lethal person of my career and within an 60 minutes I knew I was working in a toxic environment.
Rule 1:Give up on being right. Focus on survival and an exit strategy. You win by survival. Sharie Stines, Psy. D, notes on a blog on Psych Central that workplace bullying is alive and well , and in some cases co-workers won't stand by you because office politics and schoolyard politics aren't that different. Additionally, I've been in workplace bullying situations where co-workers fear they might lose their jobs if they go against an office bully, especially if the person doing the bullying is the boss. And, one of the hard things about workplace bullying is that it often involves gaslighting, so you may tell yourself that it's all in your head.
However, workplace bullying is so prevalent that there is a Workplace Bullying Institute. While it's always good to trust your instincts, if you're not sure if you're being bullied at work here are some signs to look for, and information about what you can do about it. The Workplace Bullying Institute's survey reports that an average of 19 percent of Americans are bullied at work, and another 19 percent witness the bullying.
In total workplace bullying affects 60 million people. What's more is that 70 percent of bullies are men with 61 percent being bosses , and 60 percent of those bullied are women. And, 45 percent of people reported an increase in workplace bullying since Trump was elected president. Stines notes that one sign is feeling ignored, overlooked, and isolated, like everyone knows a secret but you.
The WBI says that this could manifest in the person bullying you telling others at work to stop working, talking, or socializing with you. The WBI also advises that being asked to meet unrealistic goals is a sign of workplace bulling. When you fail to meet impossible expectations, "You are shocked when accused of incompetence, despite a history of objective excellence, typically by someone who cannot do your job. Stines likens this to being "unsure" of the rules, and receiving repercussions for breaking a rule that are not in line with the infraction.