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Mais, j'ai vraiment eu une bonne impression. Il laisse une douceur incomparable, et le teint est plus radieux. Learn more Learn more Its secret? Peach and orange blossom make your complexion glow! I escaped out of a back window , and sought refuge in another, part of the town, where a citizen received me with kindness, and, ai the risk of his life, concealed me in his house till 54 tbe pursuit was over, when he furnished me with money and a horse, to enable me to join a caravan that was going to Bagdad, my native city.
I asked him by what calamity he had excited the caliph's displeasure. No, the only favour that I will accept, is that you will endeavour to convince the caliph of my innocence : if you fail, I will go and offer him my head, for I will not escape and leave you in danger. The emperor Charles V. Athana- sius was yet very young, not being more than fourteen, and consequently did not receive any salary at court ; his tender heart was deeply afflicted at the situation of his father, who was reduced to poverty, and he had no means of sending him assistance.
At length, unable to support the idea of the sufferings of his parent, the young 56 sadler's exercises. Athanasius sold the horse that was allowed him foi his exercises , and sent the money to his father. The horse was soon missed and the page interrogated ; but he obstinately refused to give any account of him. The emperor, being informed of the circumstance, ordered Athanasius to be brought before him, and insisted on knowing what he had done with the horse.
The youth immedi- ately fell on his knees , and bursting into tears confessed the whole, saying, " I hope your majesty will pardon me ; for, if my father has forgotten hia duty to his king, he is nevertheless my father, and nothing could excuse me if I were to forget my duty towards him. This was a longer voyage than any he had yet made, and one of his friends endeavoured to dissuade him, magnifying the danger, and advis- ing him to settle on shore.
Nonsense, replied the Jack-tar, don't talk to me of danger ; there is no more on sea than on shore. Let me tell you that God protects his creatures as much at sea as on shore. A Singular Justification. A reaper being at work in a field in Devonshire , near the banks of a river, saw a man throw him- self into the water ; he ran directly to his assist- ance, plunged in , and brought him to the shore.
Having left him and returned to his work, he very soon saw him again leap in. A second time the reaper jumped into the river, and, with difficulty, rescued him; he then recommended him to go home, and not attempt such a foolish action as to drown himself. The reaper then resumed his labour, but, in a short time , saw the same man hang himself to the branch of a tree. Finding him so determined to kill himself, he resolved to take no more trouble about him , but to let him hang.
The Immortal Eli-Kir. A certain emperor of China was a great lover ot the sciences, and a great encourager of learned men ; but not being able to distinguish true merit from impudent charlatanism, he was frequently imposed on. One day an impostor obtained admittance to the palace, and, watching an opportunity, he presented a phial to the emperor, saying, May it please your majesty, this phial contains an elixir that will render you immortal ; drink it, and fear not death.
As the, emperor was about to take the phial, one of the ministers, who had more judgment than his majesty, snatched it from his hand, and imme- diately drank off a part of its contents. The monarch, enraged at his presumption, immediately ordered him to be put to death ; but the minister calmly replied : " If the elixir gives immortality, you will in vain try to put me to death ; and if it does not , I have unmasked an impostor ; let him be compelled to drink the rest of it, and then take a dose of poison; if he is a true man , he has nothing to fear ; if he is not, he deserves to die, for having ENGLISH INTO FRENCH.
Heroic Conduct of a Sailor. The crew of an English merchantman which was at Barbadoes, were one day bathing in the sea, when they were alarmed at the appearance of an enormous shark. The men swam towards their boat as fast as possible ; but the monster overtook one of them, and seizing him in his jaws, bit him in halves , and swallowed the lower part. The upper part was taken on board, and the mangled appear- ance of it so affected one of the sailors, who was much attached to the unfortunate man, that he vo wed to revenge his death on the shark, which was yet seen lurking about in search of more prey.
The sailor armed himself with the cook's knife, and, being an excellent swimmer, leaped into the sea, swearing to kill the monster, or to perish in the attempt. The shark no sooner perceived him, than he ap- proached and opened his voracious jaws to swallow him ; the sailor at the same moment dived, and rising under his belly, caught firmly hold of one of the fins, and immediately plunged his knife seve- ral times into his body.
Unable to make any further efforts, the sailor pushed him to land, where the tide soon left him dry. The seaman, with the assistance of his ship, mates, ripped up the belly of the monster, and found in it the lower extremity of his friend, which he placed with the other part, and both were buried on the island ; he took to England several of the shark's teeth as a token of his victory ; some of them he gave to the parents of his deceased ship- mate, whose sister he soon after married.
Abuse of Hospitality. In the month of June, , a pedlar and his wife presented themselves one Saturday evening at the door of a farm-house, and asked an asylum foi the night, which was readily granted them. On the following morning, being Sunday, the farmei and his servants went to church, accompanied by the pedlar, whose wife excused herself from going , by saying she was not well.
Shortly after they were gone, the pedlar's wife went to the room of the farmer's wife, who was ill in bed , and demanded the keys of the secretary. Unfortunately the child met the pedlar, who was returning from church before the service was finished, no doubt to assist in robbing his generous host.
He asked the boy where he was going. The boy replied — To fetch my father. She supplicated him to have mercy on the little innocent, but did not open the door, hoping, every minute, that her husband, or the ser- vants, would arrive to her assistance. The sanguinary monster, knowing he had no time to lose, immediately killed the poor little boy ; and having found means to climb up to the roof, entered the chimney to make his way into the house.
The affrighted woman heard him, and, with great pre- sence of mind, immediately set fire to the rubbish in the fire-place , adding also a great quantity of straw. The chimney was instantly on fire , and the robber fell senseless, and nearly suffocated, into the flames at the bottom. The poor woman, exhausted with fatigue and terror, then fainted and fell on the floor ; but, fortunately, the husband and servants returned before the robber had recovered his senses.
They forced open the door, and soon discovered the fatal truth. The culprits were seized and taken 02 sadler's exercises. The Wise Fool, and the Professor of Signs. The following anecdote is related as true, at the University of Oxford, in England. A celebrated foreign linguist was at London, and wishing to con- verse in the learned languages with some of the most renowned of the English professors, he ob- tained a recommendation to one of the first masters at Oxford.
The professor, knowing the day and manner of his arrival, and wishing to surprise him, placed several of the students, dressed as peasants, at short distances from each other on the road lead- ing to the town, with instructions to answer him in Latin, Greek, Hebrew, German, French, or Italian, if he should interrogate them, or to ask him some question in those languages if he did not. He was recognised on his approach by one of the scholars, who asked him in French what o'clock it was. He answered him, and appeared much astonished at hearing a peasant speak a foreign language ; thinking however it might be some per- son who had seen better days , and was reduced by misfortune, he rode on ; but his curiosity being excited, he asked the next countryman he saw, how far it was to Oxford : judge his surprise on receiv- ing an answer in good Latin.
On arriving at the house of the professor, he told him he had already sufficient proofs of the superior knowledge of the members of the University, whose influence spread to the very peasants on the road.
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After dinner, the professor sent for George, and told him that a gentleman who had heard much of him, wished to see him, and that he must meet him at ten o'clock on the next morning at a certain olace ; but that the person was extremely deaf, therefore he must only talk by signs. A little before ten, the linguist found George according to appointment ; they both remained silent for some minutes, and then the gentleman held up one finger ; George looked steadfastly at him, and held up two ; the gentleman smiled, and then held up three ; upon which George, with great vivacity, firmly raised his clinched fist.
The stranger then looked at his watch, and seeing it was late, hurried off to his chaise, which was wait- ing at the professor's door, telling him that his friend had surpassed his expectation. The linguist then set off, but he was scarcely gone, when George arrived in a fury, crying out : Where is the insolent fellow you sent to mock me?
I did not much like it, but, however, I held up two, meaning that he had two eyes; upon which he showed me three of his, as much as to say — Between us two there are but three eyes, immediately doubled my fist, and if he had not scaped as he did, I would have given him a good drubbing. A Trial of Courage. In , during the American war, an officer in Virginia having unintentionally offended another, received a challenge to fight a duel.
He returned for answer , that he would not fight him, and for three reasons : first, not having committed any fault, he would not expose his life to gratify the caprice of an impetuous man ; secondly, that he had a wife and children who were dear to him, and he would not do them such an injustice as to run the chance of plunging them into misery ; and, thirdly, that as his life was devoted to the servico cf his king and country, it would be a violation both of moral and civil duty to risk it in a private quarrel.
In consequence of his refusal, his antagonist posted him as a coward, and he had the mor- tification of seeing himself shunned by the officers in general. Knowing he had not merited such disgrace, he resolved to put an end to it, and 66 having furnished himself with a large hand-grenade , he went to the mess-room where the officers were assembled. On his entrance , they looked at him with disdain, and several of them said : We don't associ- ate with cowards.
On saying this, he lighted the fusee of the grenade, and threw it among them ; then, crossing his arms, he prepared to await the explosion. The affrighted officers immediately arose and ran towards the door in the greatest terror and confusion, tumbling over each other in their hurry to get out. After the explosion, the fugitives ventured into the room, expecting to see the officer torn to pieces ; but, judge their surprise and shame, on being welcomed with a hearty laugh. From that moment they ceased to shun him, and to brand him with the epithet of coward.
A very Singular Excuse. An Irishman, accused of having stolen a gun, was taken, and brought to justice. He was then conducted to the bar, the accusation was read, and the judge asked him what he had to say in his defence. My lord, replied the Hibernian, I have brought up that gun ever since it was a pistol, and I can bring witnesses to prove it.
Delicacy of Alphonso, King of Aragon. Alphonso, king of Aragon, went one day, it is said, to a jeweller's to purchase some diamonds for presents to a foreign prince. He was accompanied by several courtiers, and the jeweller spread his finest diamonds and other precious stones before them without hesitation. Alphonso looked sternly at those who accom- panied him, saying, "Whichsoever of you has stolen the diamond, he deserves the most severe punishment ; but the publication of his name might perhaps tarnish the reputation of an honourable family ; I will spare them that disgrace.
When it was brought, he ordered every one of the attendants to plunge his right hand closed into the pot, and to draw it out quite open. It was done ; and, the bran being sifted, the diamond was found. The prince then addressed them, say- ing, Gentlemen, I will not suspect any one among you ; I will forget the affair : the culpable person cannot escape the torment of his guilty conscience. We must not always judge by Appearances. A sailor, belonging to a merchant vessel, set off from London to join his ship, which was in the Downs.
He arrived towards night at the little town of Northfleet, which is about twenty miles from the capital, on the south bank of the Thames. Another sailor, named Gwin- nett, who was in the room, said, Shipmate, I will give you half my bed. The offer was gladly ac- cepted, and after drinking a glass of grog, the two sailors went to bed. Soon after he was gone, the maid went into the bed-room to call the sailor, but he was not there.
The landlord sought him all over the house, but he was nowhere 1 to be found, and some spots of blood being discovered, they were traced to the privy, which was close to the river side, where a knife was also found with Gwinnett's name upon it. It was immediately suspected that he had mur dered his bed-fellow, and thrown his body into the Thames. He was pursued and taken, and a strict search was made after the body , but without success.
Appearances were so strong against Gwinnett, that he was tried and condemned to be hanged and gibbeted on a common not far from the spot of the supposed murder. On the day of his execution, there happened one of the most dreadful storms of thunder, lightning, and rain, that had ever been remembered , and the officers of justice took down the body before it had hung the usual time , put it into the chains, and after having suspended it on the gibbet, where it was to remain, they hastened home to escape from the storm.
He solemnly vowed to the farmer that he was innocent of the crime, and begged he would assist him to escape. The farmer lent him a disguise, and he hastened to a sea-port, where he embarked on board a ship that was just sailing for the Levant. While he was in the Mediterranean, the ship was boarded by the crew of a man of war, and Gwinnett, with some others of the merchantman, was pressed into the king's service. He had not been long on board the ship of war, when he observed a sailor who very much resembled the one with whom he had slept at Northfleet, and, on questioning him, discovered that he was the very man for whose murder he had been hanged.
Anecdote of a Hoax played on the Londoners. In the year , the Duke of Montagu, who was very facetious, was one day in a company where the conversation turned on the curiosity and cre- dulity of the inhabitants of the metropolis of England. The duke insisted that if any one should declare he would creep into a wine-bottle, there were fools enough to fill a theatre, and who would pay their money in expectation of seeing it. Some of the company denied that the English were such fools, and the duke offered a wager that he would prove it, and that he would fill a theatre by announcing such an exhibition.
The bet was accepted, and the duke immediately published the following advertisement in all the newspapers : "Hay-Market Theatre. On Monday next, the 16th , a person will perform the following incredible things. First, he will take a common walking-cane 72 from any one of the spectators, and produce from it the sound of every musical instrument that is known.
Secondly, he will present to the audience a common wine-bottle, which they may examine to see that there is no deception ; he will then place it on a table in front of the stage where, in sight of the whole house , he will creep into it, and, during nis stay , he will sing several popular songs. While he is in the bottle, any person may handle it to convince themselves that there is no deception. The persons in the boxes may come in masks, and the performer will if they desire it inform them who they are. To begin at half-past six o'clock. In the boxes were seen dukes and duchesses, lords and ladies ; and in the other parts of the house, persons of all descrip- tions.
After waiting a considerable time and seeing no performer the audience became clamorous, and a person came on the stage to tell them that, if the man did not come, the money should be returned. They waited some time longer ; and then the genteel part oi the audience retired, but the others re- mained ; and, finding they were hoaxed began to demolish the interior of the theatre.
The benches, scenes and other ornaments were torn in pieces, carried into the street and burnt. A regiment of soldiers arrived, but not in time to save anything. The following anecdote of the same nobleman is equally remarkable, and far more laudable. During a walk in Saint-James's Park the duke observed a middle-aged man continually walking to and fro or sitting in a melancholy attitude on one of the benches.
Wishing to know something more of him, the duke approached him several times, and endeavoured to draw him into conversation , but without success, his only answers being, " Yes, sir : Ko, sir : I don't know : I believe so," etc. Determined to obtain some information concern- ing him, the duke ordered one of his servants to follow him home, and to make all the inquiries he could.
The servant, on his return , informed his master that he had learned that the gentleman was a military officer with a numerous family; and having nothing but half pay to support them, he had sent them to a distant part of England, where they could live more cheaply than in London ; that he transmitted them the greater part of his pay, and lived as he could himself at London, in order to be near the "War-office, where he was soliciting promotion. In a few clays, the preparations being complete, he sent one of his servants into the park, to tell him that his master had something of importance to communicate , and requested that he would call on him.
The astonished officer followed the servant, and was introduced to the duke, who then told him that a lady of his acquaintance, who knew his circumstan- ces and was greatly interested in his welfare, wished very much to see him ; that the lady was to dine that day at his house, and that he would introduce him to her. It appears that the duke had sent a messenger to bring the family to London, without permitting any communication with the husband ; and that they had but just arrived. A Lesson of Perseverance from a Spider. The celebrated Robert Bruce, king of Scotland, fter being several times defeated by the English, and almost despairing to be able to restore the inde- pendence of his country, was once out in disguise, reconnoitring the positions of the enemy.
Being much fatigued, he one night took up his lodging in a barn, and, on awaking in the morning, he remark- ed a large spider endeavouring to climb up a post that was very smooth. The insect, not finding a firm hold for its little feet, slipped and fell several times to the ground , yet immediately recommenced its efforts. The perseverance of the insect attracted the attention of the king, and he beheld with regret every un- successful attempt. The spider, however, recom- menced after every fall, and, at length, after twelve failures, Bruce saw with pleasure, the thirteenth trial crowned with success.
He immediately exclaimed : " What a lesson for mankind! I will profit by it, for it is the best I ever received. I have been already twelve times defeated by the superior force of my enemies ; I will follow the example of the spider ; another effort may be suc- cessful. In the year , two Englishmen landed at Calais; they did not go to Dessin's hotel, which was at that time much frequented by their country- men, but took up their lodging at an obscure inn kept by a man named Dulong. The landlord expected every day that they would set off for Paris, but they made no preparations for departure, and did not even inquire what was worth seeing at Calais.
The only amusement they took was to go out sometimes a shooting. The landlord began, after a few weeks, to wonder at their stay, and used to gossip, of an evening , with his neighbour the grocer upon the subject. Sometimes they decided that they were spies, at other times they were suspected to be runaways.
However they lived well, and paid so liberally, that it was at last concluded they were fools; which was confirmed, in the opinion of M. Dulong, by a proposition they soon after made to him. Thus passed about two months, when one day they told hua that they were going on a shooting 78 sadler's exercises.
The next morning they set off with their guns on their shoulders, and their shot-bags heavily load- ed ; the landlord wishing them good sport. They told him that they had left some papers in the apart- ment, and therefore they took the key with them. The three days passed, and so did the fourth , fifth, sixth, and seventh, without the return of the stran- gers. Dulong became at first uneasy, then suspicious, and, at last, on the eighth day, he sent for the police officers, and the door was broken open in presence of the necessary witnesses.
On the table was found the following note : " Dear Landlord, — You know, without doubt, that your town of Calais was in the possession of the English during two hundred years ; that it was at length retaken by the Duke of Guise, who treated the English inhabitants as our Edward III. A short time ago we discovered, among some old family papers, some documents of one of our ancestors, who possessed a house at Calais where ' yours now stands.
From these documents we learned that on the retaking of Calais, he was obliged to flee; but in hopes of being able to return, he buried a very considerable sum of money close to a wall in his garden : the paper contained also such an accurate description of the spot that we doubted not of being able to discover it. We found a method; it was the construction of the apartment. As soon as it was completed we dug up the earth and found our object in the chest which we have left you.
We wish you success in your house, but advise you to give better wine, and to be more reasonable in your charges. Judge not the action of any one, without know- ing the motives. Understand what you have to do before you set about it. Baron Sutherland, when at St. Petersburg, possessed a very handsome pug dog, and tho Empress Catharine having seen and admired it, he could not do less than make her a present of it She graciously thanked the baron, accepted the dog, gave him the name of Sutherland, and made him her favourite lap-dog.
He was fed with so many luxuries, and took so little exercise, that the 80 sadler's exercises. The empress was so fond of the little animal, that she determined to have him stuffed and put into a glass case. On the morning after his death, she said in French to one of her officers, " Go directly, take Sutherland, and see him stuffed.
The officer thought she said empaler ; and not thinking of the dog, he went immediately to the baron's house, supposing he had committed some heinous crime, and said, Sir, you must follow me immediately. Sutherland, not a little surprised at such a sum- mons, and particularly at the manner in which it was announced , demanded some explanation ; but the officer replied, " Sir, it is not for me to criticise the orders of her majesty ; my duty is to see them executed. As soon as he saw the empress, he exclaimed, How madam, have I been so unfortunate as to offend you, and subject myself to such a cruel order?
The baron is, I am sure, one of the last men who would imagine any thing against me. A Happy Expression. Unexpected Politeness. In , when Bonaparte was besieging Toulon, which was then in possession of the English, and from which he drove them, he was one day direct- ing the construction of a battery, and the enemy perceiving it, commenced a warm fire upon it.
Bonaparte, wanting to send off a despatch, asked for a sergeant who could write. A sergeant immediately came out of the ranks and wrote a letter under his dictation. It was scarcely finished 6 82 badler's exercises. I wanted a little sand for my letter. The Four-legged Thief-Taker. A Polish count named Oginski had a very fine poodle-dog, and liked him so much that he never went out without him.
One evening the count went to amuse himself for an hour or two at a public ball at the Winter Vauxhah. He waa accompanied, as usual, by his favourite dog ; but the sentinel at the door would not admit him, and the master left him in the guard-house in care of a soldier. The count had not been long in the saloon before he perceived that his watch had been stolen ; he complained to the police officers who were pre- sent, and they assured him they would use all their endeavours to find it. After a few mutual caresses the count walked around the room with him ; then stopping in the middle, and tapping with his hand upon his fob, he said, "Strimki, go and find it," pointing at the same time around the saloon.
Strimki began immediately to examine every one, smelling their clothes, and at last he stopped short before a very well-dressed man, and began barking. The count immediately made himself known to the company, saying, " Ladies and gentlemen, I have been robbed of my watch, and that man has it. I insist on his being searched, and if it be found that I have accused him unjustly, I will answer for the conse- quences! The Chimney-sweepers' Feast, or the Lost Child found. There was formerly at London, on the first of May of every year, a superb feast given to the chimney-sweepers of the metropolis, at Montagu- House, Cavendish-square, the town residence of the Montagu family.
One day, however, the servant, meeting an old acquaint- ance, went into an alehouse to drink, and left the little boy running about by himself. After staying some time drinking, the footman came out to look for the child to take him home to dinner, but he could not find him. He wandered about till night, inquiring at every cottage and every house, but in vain, no Edw r ard could be found.
The poor mother, as may well be imagined, was in the greatest anxiety about the absence of her dear boy ; but it would be impossible to describe her grief and des- pair w T hen the footman returned, and told her he did not know what had become of him. People w T ere sent to seek him in all directions ; advertise- ments were put in all the newspapers ; bills were stuck up in London, and in most of the great towns of England, offering a considerable reward to any person who would bring him or give any news of him.
All endeavours w r ere, however, unsuccessful, and it was concluded that the poor child had fallen into some pond, or that he had been stolen by gip- sies, who would not bring him back for fear of being punished. Lady Montagu passed two long years in this miserable uncertainty: she did not return to London as usual in the winter, but passed her time in grief and solitude in the country. She arrived at London to superintend the preparations, and while the supper was cooking, the whole house was alarmed by a cry of fire! It appears that one of the cooks had overturned a saucepan, and set fire to the chimney.
The chimney-sweepers were sent for, and a little boy was sent up ; but the smoke nearly suffocated him, and he fell into the fire-place. Lady Montagu came herself with some vinegar and a smellinsr- bottle ; she began to bathe his temples and his neck, when suddenly she screamed out, Oh! She soon recovered, and taking the little sweep in her arms, pressed him to 4 her bosom, crying, It is my dear Edward!
It is my lost boy! It appears she had recognised him by a mark on his neck. The master-chimney-sweeper, on being asked where he had obtained the child, said he had bought him about a year before of a gipsy woman, who said he was her son. All that the boy could remember was, that some people had given him fruit, and told him they would take him home to his mamma ; but that they took him a long way upon a donkey, and after keeping him a long, long while , they told him he must go and live with the chimney-sweep, who was his father : that they had beaten him so much whenever he spoke of his mamma and of his fine house, that he was almost 80 SADLElt's EXERCISES.
But he said his master, the chimney-sweeper, had treated him very well. Lady Montagu rewarded the man handsomely, and from that time she gave a feast to all the chimney-sweepers of the metropolis on the 1st of May, the "birth-day of little Edward, who always presided at the table, which was covered with the good old English fare , roast-beef, plum-pudding, and strong beer.
This circumstance happened many, many years ago , and Lady Montagu and Edward are both dead; but the 1st of May is still celebrated as the chimney-sweepers' holiday, and you may see them on that day in all parts of London, dressed in ribbons , and all sorts of finery, dancing to music at almost every door, and beating time with the implements of their trade.
A Lesson for Pride. A very good king, who loved his subjects, and whose constant care was, by making them happy, to show that he considered them as his family, had a son whose disposition was so contrary to that of his father, that he despised all those who were beneath him ; considering himself a superior crea- ture, and that those whom fortune had placed under him, were unworthy of his notice, or fit only to be the slaves of his will.
At length the prince married a foreign princess and became a father ; and the king, by the advice of one of bis faithful courtiers, thought this a favourable opportunity to give him a lesson on the nobility of birth. For this purpose , on the morning after his child was born, another infant of the same age, dressed exactly in the same manner, was placed in the cradle by the side of it.
The prince, on rising, went to see his little son ; but what was his surprise on finding two children resembling each other so much, that he could not distinguish his own! He called the servants, and finding them equally embarrassed, he gave way to his rage , swearing that they should be all dis- charged, and severely punished. The king, his father, arrived at the same instant, and hearing the complaints of the prince, he said, smilingly to him, How is it possible you should mistake and not recognise your own child? It arises only from good conduct and good fortune. The prince blushed, owned he was wrong, and promised to entertain more philanthropic senti- ments ; but the king fearing he might relapse, took an opportunity of giving him another lesson.
A short time after , the prince being indisposed, the doctor advised him to be bled , and having to bleed one of the pages on the same day, the king ordered the blood to be preserved in separate bowls. A few hours after, when his son was with him, the king sent for the doctor, and having ordered the two bowls to be brought, desired him to examine the blood, and tell him which was the purest. The doctor, pointing to one of the bowls, said, That is far more pure than the other.
Real or Intrinsic Value. One day a miller, who brought flour to the house, expressed his admiration of an elegant watch that she wore, and this flatter- ed her pride so much that she showed him a superb diamond-necklace and bracelets. The miller, after looking at them for some time with admiration, said, They are very beautiful, and, I dare say , very dear. The Biter Bitten. A French emigrant, who, in , had fled from the horrors of the revolution, and sought refuge in Westphalia, finding the winter approach, and know- ing that in that country it is more severe than at 90 Paris, thought he should do well to lay in a gooa provision of wood, and, seeing a cart-load passing, he called the carter to ask the price.
The man, seeing he was a foreigner, determined to cheat him, and, after he had praised the quality of the wood, told him he would let him have it for three louis, which, continued he, " is much cheaper than you could buy it anywhere else. The landlord of the alehouse was an honest man, and told him he had done very wrong in deceiving a foreigner; but he replied," What is that to you?
How to Catch a Pickpocket, A merchant at London, who used to walk very much in the City, the streets of which are always crowded and infested by pickpockets, was con- tinually losing either his pocket-book, his snuff-box, or his purse, without ever being able to discover the thief. At last he thought of a very ingenioue method which promised success.
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He went to a fishing-tackle shop and bought some strong fish- hooks, which he got sewed fast in his pocket with the points turned downwards, so that anybody might put their hand into the pocket, but could not draw it out without being caught. Thus prepared, he went out as usual to go on 'change , desiring one of his clerks to follow him at a short distance to be ready in case he should catch a fish.
On passing up Lombard-street, he felt a slight tug at his coat, and immediately set off to run, but was prevented by something holding him back. He turned and saw the pickpocket, and said — Why do you hold my coat, sir? By this time the clerk had come up, and a crowd being assembled around them, had a hearty laugh at the fisherman and fish, whose fin was so firmly hooked that he was obliged to go with the mer- chant to a surgeon, and have the flesh cut to disen- gage the hooks.
The gentleman was satisfied with the trick, and did not send the pickpocket to pri- son ; but ever after that he could walk safely through the City, with his pocket-book, purse, or snuff-box. Before you promise, calculate your ability to perform The delightful game of chess was invented, it ia said, by a Bramin named Sissa, in order to amuse a very tyrannical prince, and, by giving him some- thing to occupy his mind, to prevent him from ex- ercising so much cruelty upon his subjects.
Show- ing him also that the king, though the most im- portant piece in the game, cannot attack or even defend himself, without the assistance of his pawns, that is to say, his people. The monarch was enchanted with the game, and asked the Bramin what he should give him as a recompense for having taught him to play it. Deaf as a Post. About five o'clock, one winter's evening, a gentle- man on horseback stopped at an inn which was full of travellers. He rode into the yard, and, calling the ostler very loud, said, " Here, take care of my horse and put him in the stable. He cried out loud enough to stun her, " No compliments, no cere- mony, I beg, ma'am, your accommodation will be very good.
I am easily satisfied, and it is quite useless for you to speak, for I am so deaf that I cannot hear a cannon. Finding no means of getting rid of him, the landlord and his wife determined to let him pass the night on the chair, as the beds were all en- gaged. Shortly after he saw the dinner served in the next room, and immediately taking his chair, he placed himself at the table ; it was in vain they bawled to him as loud as possible, that it was a private company, and they would not receive a 6tranger : he appeared to think that they wished to give him the top of the table, and thanking them for their politeness, he said he was very comfortable where he was seated.
Finding they could not make him understand, they let him remain ; and after eating a hearty dinner , he threw a two-franc piece on the table to pay for his repast; but the landlady pushed it towards him with disdain, saying — What! U5 suppose that two francs will pay for such a dinner as you have eaten? I beg pardon, ma'am, re- plied he, I insist on paying for my own dinner ; I thank these gentlemen for their politeness, but I will not suffer them to pay for me. The company, after having laughed heartily at his apparent stupidity, sent a servant to see where he was gone.
She soon returned, say- ing, he had taken possession of one of their bed- rooms. They then agreed to go, all together, and turn him out by force ; but when they approached tha door, they heard him barricading it with the furni- ture, and talking loudly to himself. They listened and heard him say — What an unfortunate situation is mine! No, I will not go to bed, nor put out the light ; I will sit up all night with my pistols cocked, and if any one should enter, I will shoot him directly.
Hearing this, they made no attempt to dislodge him ; and he went to bed and passed the night very quietly, leaving the gentleman who had engaged the bed to find a lodging where he could. The next morning, he came down, went to the stable for his horse, led him to the door, by which time the company were assembled to have another 90 laugh at him. As soon as he was mounted, he threw to the servant thirty sous for his horse and his lodging, and also some sous to the ostler ; ther changing his manner, he said, Gentlemen, I thank you for the politeness you have shown me ; I have to beg pardon of one of you for having taken his bed ; but one of my friends was refused, a lodging here last night, and he has betted twenty louis that I could not procure one ; so I have played the deaf man to some effect.
I leave you to judge if I have done it well. A Warm Joke. A man who had more wit than money, and who, as they say in England, lived by his wits, that is to say, at the expense of the credulous, was once on a stage-coach, and by the criminal imprudence of the coachman, driving furiously to arrive before an opposition coach, the carriage was overturned. Among the passengers who were severely wounded, our wit had one of his legs broken so badly that it was necessary to amputate it. The accident did not however greatly afflict him, as it furnished him with another resource for levying contributions on the public.
First of all he brought an action against the proprietors of the coach, and obtained ?. Having once provided himself with some powder of rotten wood, he went one Saturday night to a country public-house, and after joining company and drinking with the peasants and others, he began to talk of the wonders that are to be seen at Lon- don. Among other astonishing things, one of the countrymen declared that he had seen a man wash his hands in melted lead.
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They laughed at him, and told him they were not such fools as to believe impossibilities : but our hero replied, Gentlemen, it is so far from being impossible, that I assure you I have seen it myself, and fortunately I have about me the means of convincing you. He then took from his pocket a tin box , and opening it, said — Here is a powder that I have composed, with which any part of the body being rubbed, it may be plunged into boiling liquid or melted metal ; will any of you try it?
It would be perhaps difficult to procure melted lead, so I will make the experiment with boiling water. They were all extremely desirous to obtain some of the powder, but he told them he did not sell it. The next day , being Sunday, they met and invited their friends to see the experiments. A large tub was brought and filled with boiling water, when one, who on account of his boldness was called the cock of the village, thinking to astonish his companions, rubbed both his legs, and jumped nimbly into the tub ; but, with a loud scream, he leaped much more quickly out, and danced about the room with more animation than he had ever danced before.
The com- pany, notwithstanding the poor fellow's pain, was convulsed with laughter ; and as no other could be found to repeat the experiment, they retired, leaving the scalded countryman to the care of his poor wife ; and to this day they say in that part of the country, when any one runs or dances nimbly, "He runs like a scalded cock. The farmer made great interest with the super- intendent of the ballot, and promised him a hand- some present, if he could find means to prevent his son from going to the army.
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In order to accom- plish it, he put into the urn two black balls, instead of one black and one white. When the young men came, he said — There are a black ball and a white one in the urn ; he who draws the black one must serve. The widow's son, having some suspicion that all was not fair, approached the urn, and drew one of the balls, which he immediately swallowed without looking at it. The Danger of being Ungrateful. An Indian prince, who was very fond of going on the water, had one day the misfortune to fall into a river ; he was drowning , when a slave plunged in , caught him by the hair of his head , dragged him to the shore, and saved his life.
When he had recovered his senses, he called for the man who had drawn him out of the water, and finding him to be a slave, he said — How dare you profane the sacred head of your sovereign lord by placing your un- worthy hand upon it? Some time after, the prince, in stepping from one boat to another, fell again into the water, and find- ing no one attempted to save him, he called out for assistance ; but the only answer he received, was : Remember how you rewarded the slave who saved your life before.
At last the cook came out of the shop, and taking hold of him, de- clared that, as he had been feeding upon the smell of his victuals, he should not go away without pay- ing half the price of a dinner. The poor little fel low said that he neither could nor would pay, and that he would ask the first person who should pass, whether it was not an unreasonable and unjust de- mand. A police officer, happening to pass at the moment, the case was referred to him.
He said to the sweep, " My boy, as you have been regaling one of your senses with the odour of this man's meat, it is but just you should make him some recompense ; therefore you shall, in your turn, regale one of his senses, which appears more insatiable than your appetite. How much money have you? One Crime generally begets Another. A bleacher in Ireland had been frequently robbed of great quantities of linen, and though he had made the greatest exertions, had never been able to dis cover the robber.
A few nights after, the bleacher was called by one of his servants, who told him there was a robber in the bleaching-ground with a light.
The master immediately armed himself with a pistol, and the servant with a gun, and went towards the ground where the linen was spread. They saw distinctly a person with a lantern stooping down , or kneeling on the grass, as if in the act of cutting or rolling up the cloth. They approached on tip- toe, and as soon as they were near enough, the servant took a deliberate aim , fired, and the person fell dead.
They ran up, and discovered that it was the son of a very honest and industrious man, who lived at a short distance. The cloth was cut in many places, and rolled up ready to be taken away; and a knife was found on the spot with the voung man's name on it. With such evidence nobody, not even the afilicted father, could doubt the guilt of the young man. The servant received the ?. A short time after , some reports were circulated which excited great suspicion against him. The master, therefore, had him apprehended , and so many circumstances appeared against him, that he was committed to prison to take his trial at the next assizes.
Being left alone in a solitary dungeon, the con- science of the wretch tormented him so much, that at last he confessed that he himself was the thief, and that the young man was perfectly innocent. Fearing, he said, to be detected, and desirous to gain the reward, he had fixed upon the youth as his victim. He had first borrowed his pocket-knife, and then, on the evening of the fatal day, went to the bleach- ing-ground, cut the linen in several pieces, left the knife upon it, and having rolled up several parcels as if ready to take away, he went and asked the lad to come and sup with him ; telling him, as the nights were very dark, he had better bring his lantern to light him home.
While they were at supper, he spoke about the knife, saying he had mislaid it somewhere, and, suddenly appearing to recollect, he added — I remember dropping it in the bleaching-ground, at such a spot ; you can return home that way , and, as you have your lantern, you can look for it. The villain was hanged at Dundalk amidst the execrations of a multitude of people. The Bagpiper Revived. The following event happened in London during the great plague, which in carried off nearly , of the inhabitants.
A bagpiper used to get his living by sitting and playing his bagpipes every day on the steps of St. Andrew's church in Holborn. In order to escape the contagion, he drank a great quantity of gin ; and, one day, having taken more than usual, he became so drunk that he fell asleep on the steps. Tt was the custom, during the prevalence of that terrible disease, to send carts about every night to collect the dead, and carry them to a common grave, or deep pit, of which several had been made in the environs of London. The men passing with the cart up Holborn-hill, and seeing the piper extended on the steps, natu- rally thought he was dead, and tossed him into the cart among the others, without observing that he had his bagpipes under his arm, and without pay- ing any attention to his dog, which followed the cart, barking and howling most piteously.
He was soon re- leased and restored to his faithful dog. The piper became, from this event, so celebrated, that one of the first sculptors of that epoch made a statue of him and his dog, which is still to be seen at London. A Singular Precaution. Two young men set out together on a long jour- ney ; one of them was a great spendthrift, but the other being very economical, it was agreed, for their mutual benefit, that the latter should have charge of the purse.
The spendthrift soon found himself embarrassed, wishing to buy ail the curiosi- ties he saw, and not having money to do it. They slept both in the same room ; and one night, after they had been some time in bed, the prodigal called to his friend, saying, William, William! At last they arrived at the end of their journey, which, owing to William's economy, had cost but very little : his companion was much pleased, well- knowing, that, if he had kept the purse, it would have been much more expensive. He then said to William, Tell me, now there is no more danger, where you hid the money every night, for I frankly confess that I have often endeavoured to find it.
The young man acknowledged that he was pleased with the trick his companion had put upon him ; but told him it would, in future, be necessary to find another hiding-place. Avarice Punished. An avaricious merchant in Turkey, having lost a purse containing pieces of gold, had it cried by the public crier, offering half its contents to who- ever had found and would restore it. He therefore told the sailor that if he desired to receive the reward, he must restore also a valuable emerald which was in the purse. The sailor declared that he had found nothing in the purse except the money, and refused to give it lip without the recompense.
The merchant went and complained to the cadi, who summoned the sailor to appear, and asked him why he detained the purse he had found? The Students Outwitted. Two students of the university of Oxford having a holiday for two or three days, went roving about the country, and having quickly spent their money, they did not know how to procure a dinner and lodging. However they went boldly to a little inn, ordered a good dinner and beds, leaving the payment to chance. The next morning , after breakfast, the landlord sent up the bill, and they set their wits to work to find some method of satisfying or deceiving him.
At last one of them said, I have it , ring the bell. We are scholars, and by our profound studies we have discovered that, every hundred years, things return to the same state ; therefore this day a hundred years hence you will be landlord here, and we will come and pay you. Now, I am very willing to give you credit for your bill to-day ; but I will not let you leave my house till you have paid the bill of the last century, which is exactly the same amount.
The Double Metamorphosis. An Irishman was once employed, by a gentleman at Hampstead, to carry a live hare, as a present, to one of his friends at London. It was put into a bag, and he set off. Hampstead being about five miles from London, the Irishman stopped half way at a public house, to rest himself, and to drink a pint of beer. Some wags, who were drinking in the tap-room, finding what he had in the bag, deter- mined to play him a trick ; and one of them, while the others kept him in conversation, took out the hare and put in a cat. Having finished his beer, the Irishman started with his load.
On arriving at London, he said to the gontleman — Sir, my master has sent you a live hare. To render the farce complete they contrived to take out the cat and replace the hare ; and the unsuspecting Irishman set off again for Hampstead. On arriving, he said to bis master, Sir, do you know that you have sent a cat instead of a hare?
The Irishman could scarcely believe his eyes, and appeared for some moments petrified with fear : at lengfch he ejaculated — By Jasus, it is a hare at Hamp- stead, and a cat at London! Instinct and Cruelty. Many animals, and even insects, are known to be powerfully affected by sound, and so very susceptible to the influence of music that the most timid have frequently approached, and even become familiar with man, who, as instinct tells them, is their mortal enemy.
The following anecdote will offer a strik- ing example of different sentiments in different animals. During his imprisonment, Pellisson, who knew the value of time, and could not remain idle, occupied himself in reading, in writing, and frequently, as a kind of relaxation from study, he would play on the flute. Pellisson, to encourage it, would continue to play, and at last the insect became so familiar that it would approach the prisoner and feed in his hand. This was a great pleasure for Pellisson ; he became fond of the insect he had thus tamed, looked upon it as a companion, and found, even in such society, a relief from solitude.
Determined to deprive the prisoner of the conso- lation he had acquired, the governor went to his cell and said — Well, Mr. Pellisson, I hear you have found a companion. Pellisson was re- leased from prison a short time after by the king, who restored him to favour and loaded him with honours ; but he was frequently heard to say he would never forgive the governor that act of wan- ton cruelty. The following example of quackery, though of ancient date, is almost equal to any that the pre sent time can offer.
The king having heard of the impudent effron- tery of this pretended scholar, determined, by giving him some employment himself, to prevent him from making a prey of his people. He therefore sent for him ; and said — I have been informed, sir, that you have discovered a method of teaching animals to speak, and that you can qualify an ass for a doctor's degree ; now I have an ass that appears to be very intelligent, and I should like to elevate him above the degraded and unhappy state of his long-eared brethren ; tell me on what conditions you will undertake to make him a doctor.
After a few moments of reflection the quack replied, that he would only demand to be clothed and fed, and to have an allowance of a piece of gold every day, for extraordinary expenses ; and that if in ten years the ass should not answer the king's expectations, he would consent to suffer death as a vile impostor.
A poor lace-maker with a large family, who du- ring a long winter had been frequently in the bit- terest state of misery, was so feeble that he was' compelled to keep his bed. Vainly endeavouring to rise, in order to seek employment, he fell faint- ing by the side of his wife, who was herself danger- ously ill. This, alas! In vain she stretched out her little hands to soli- cit charity, no one answered her humble and modest claim ; some even threatened her with the police. Chilled by cold and by unkindness, she sadly took her way home.
On her appearance , her little brothers immedi- ately cried, " Bread! Surrounded instantly by a crowd, she was deprived of her prize, and given to the police agents to answer for her crime. Looking on the crowd with a counte- nance of surprise and despair, she perceived a child, about her own age, whose sweet and en- couraging smile cast a faint ray of hope on her forlorn mind. She approached this unknown, whose features were beaming with benevolence, and in whispers mingled with sobs she communi- rited her parents' address.
Your daughter is not likely to return home to day, she said, perhaps not to-morrow. Fear not — she is well — be cheerful and eat what she has been the means of sending to you. She then placed ten francs in the hands of the mother of the family, and suddenly disappeared. But how had these ten francs been obtained? By what means had this child been able so unexpectedly to serve this unhappy family?
We shall see. Her golden tresses, falling in ringlets over her shoulders, had excited the admiration of the neighbours.